Good Cause, Bad Effect
by UnknownCDIV
Summary: You know about cause and effect? Well, what if there was a good cause, but the effect wasn't so great? This story explores all about what happens when the effects aren't as intended!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, well, this is my first fic. I'm bound to make many errors everywhere. So criticism is very welcome! Well, not flames. I mean constructive criticism. But I'll take flames anyways, because I know I can't stop them.

Oh, and there's a glossary at the very bottom. Just highlight the area you're currently at, and scroll down to check if there's something you don't understand.

Disclaimer: If I owned Ranma ½, Happosai would be so much cooler! And Cologne wouldn't be a midget, and Shampoo would speak correct Japanese! And there wouldn't be any mallets!

Akane: What?!? How dare you even think about taking away my mallet?!?

! CONK !

Me: Owchies! You're mean Akane!

Ranma: Now ya know what I gotta go through every day… And she let you off easy too! She's always sending me into LEO!

Me: Anyways, I don't own Ranma.

Ranma: Of course ya don't! NOBODY OWNS ME, YA HEAR? I AM A FREE MAN!

! Splash !

Me: Man? I don't see no man here. Meh, whatever. I don't own Ranma ½

"Oi!" – Spoken

( I wonder if Kasumi has any hot water?) – Thoughts

$ Great-grandmother, when will the potion be finished? $ – Foreign Language

! At the Tendo Dojo !– Onomatopoeia, location, or an event happening

I refer to Onna-Ranma as a she, her, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion. Likewise, male ranma as he, him, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

* * *

Good Cause, Bad Effect

Chapter 1

"A Tap Dancing Duck?!?"

It was just an ordinary morning in Nerima. The birds were chirping, the trees were waving in the slight breeze, the air was fresh and clean, and best of all, the scenery was great for any would-be traveler.

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!?! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, SAOTOME RANMA!"

Three guesses for who that was. It was also a fine day for petty money making schemes.

"Now who's paying, hmm? 10,000 yen if you want to know where you are."

"What? Nabiki? What are you doing here in Okinawa?"

! Sigh !

"Oh Ryoga, Ryoga, Ryoga… When are you ever going to learn?" Nabiki said, with a sly smile on her face. "Just so you know, this isn't really Okinawa. And if you don't hand over the cash, maybe I just might let slip to Akane about your... little problem."

(What?!? How did she know about my curse?)

Grudgingly, Ryoga dug up the required cash.

"1,000… 2,000… 4,000… 6,000… 10,000, here you go." Ryoga handed over the required cash.

(Now I don't have enough money to buy a chocolate for Akane!) He thought, with a grimace.

"Ok Ryoga, well, you're in Nerima. Should have been pretty obvious, but I guess not for you, with such a bad sense of direction. Nice doing business with you. Ja!" Nabiki headed off for school.

"NOW I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ANY CHOCOLATES FOR AKANE! AND I BET YOU TOLD NABIKI I WOULD BE HERE! SAOTOME RANMA, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Came the furious cry of revenge, as he ran towards the direction he thought Furinkan High School was.

Unfortunately for him, that direction happened to be out of Nerima, rather than inwards. Suddenly, a thunderous sound scared all the birds out of the forest.

"NOW WHERE AM I?!? DAMN YOU, RANMA!"

* * *

! Somewhere across town ! 

Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome were playing shougi, as usual. Being so intent on trying to cheat each other, they were completely oblivious to their surroundings.

! Achoo !

"Wow Ranma, someone must be talking about you. I bet it was one of those hussies!" said Akane, feeling rather murderous.

(Geez, she's awfully jealous today. But the wedding was a coupla months ago… She couldn't still be mad about that, could she?) Thought Ranma

"Like you're one ta talk, Akane. Before I came, you had hordes of boys hangin' all over you. And it ain't like I want any of them hangin' on me. Besides, you'll just get madder if I try to push them off. Like for Shampoo, if I try ta pry her off, I'd have to grab her…" He trailed off, with a tinge of red on his cheeks.

"Grr… RANMA NO BAKA!" And once again, Akane pulls her trusty mallet from Mallet-space and whacked Ranma through the roof, and into LEO.

"KAWAIIKUNEEeeeee!" was heard as he went flying off. Of course, knowing our friend, it's impossible to avoid water for long. Being this way, a cloud just happens to be in the trajectory that Ranma was flying in, of course, by coincidence. I mean, any other explanation wouldn't make any sense at all, right? shifty eyes

"Oh my, Akane!" Kasumi gasped. "You really shouldn't break the roof every time you do that!"

"Gomen nasai, nee-chan. I'll be more careful next time." Akane sighed, "But still, that jerk deserved it."

"Don't forget to bring Ranma's bento with you when you leave!" Kasumi called, as Akane went to get her pack.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Later!"

* * *

! Furinkan High School ! 

"Aaaaaaaaah!" Yelled Onna-Ranma, as she continued falling. Of course, she could always land correctly if she wanted to, but if you get whacked on your head and you travel at insanely high speeds, for quite a few city blocks, your sense of direction gets decreased. A lot. Especially if you spin a lot in the air. Which you'll do, if you get whacked at only one side of your body. In this situation, Ranma got whacked on the head. And having your head whacked plus spinning 'round and 'round devastates your sense of balance. Yes, it was going to be a rather hard landing, unless she got caught by someone. Of course, you need to be rather skilled in some type of combat in order to catch a falling martial artist, spinning at around 100 RPM.

"Pig-tailed girl! I will catch you, and free your heart from the clutches of the evil sorcerer! And then you will be free to show me your love!" Shouted you-know-who, as he caught Ranma. No, I do not mean the evilest wizard of all time… I mean Tatewaki Kuno, the rising star of the high school fencing world, the Blue Blund- cough cough Thunder of Furinkan High. Of course, being Kuno, the delusional egoistical bokken wielding idiot he is, spouts that out to everyone nearby, proclaiming his skill just because he managed to catch Ranma. But because of Kuno's delusion, he didn't notice the pain shooting through his body, with it being the most intense in the area between his legs. And along with that, he did not realize that his voice came out as a squeak.

Okay, backtrack.

* * *

! Ranma's POV ! 

(Wow, the world's spinning around so fast… Stupid kawaiikune tomboy!)

"OHMYGOD A CLOUD! WHY MEEEE" And his, now her, voice shot up an octave as the change took place.

(Hah, if it ain't the old ladle lady, it'll be Akane's fault.) And then, he saw the ground approaching very fast, with her sense of balance rather off.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh!" she screamed, mostly out of reflex.

(God, now I'm even screamin', like a girl would!) Now, being the kind of guy Kuno is, he heard the cry of distress, and immediately tried to catch Ranma, while spewing out a bunch of junk, as usual. Ranma, being in no mood for his nonsense, aimed his leg at you-know-where.

Nabiki, seeing an opportunity to make some money, decided to record what Kuno spouted immediately after being kicked. Of course, with the "magical" thunder sound in the background, no one heard clearly what he said.

"Did you hear that? It sounded like he called himself the 'Glued Underpants of Furinkan High" said some random kid.

"No, it sounded more like the 'Chewed Chowder Powder'" Commented Daisuke

"Naw, I heard him say 'The Ewwy Wonder'," Hiroshi insisted.

And soon after the discussions began, people began crowding around Nabiki to buy the information about what Kuno said. After all, Nabiki knows everything that happens in the school. Oh yes, a wonderful opportunity for petty money-making schemes.

Ranma, after giving Kuno a second kick after he finished with his nonsense, noted the time on the clock, and decided there was plenty of time to get some hot water, and go to class. As he passed Kuno to go into school, Kuno fell, twitching, to the ground.

Daisuke stuck his head out the window. "Hey, nice one Ranma! People should have done that sooner than this!" Daisuke laughed "You sure showed him!"

"Yeah, good one, Ranma! Too bad no one else could endure his junk long enough to give him a good, hard, kick!" Hiroshi agreed.

"Heh, thanks guys," Ranma called up.

Not far off in the distance, Akane noted how everyone cheered for Ranma as he kicked Kuno a second time.

(Geez, how come everyone cheers for RANMA when I've kicked Kuno there plenty of times?) She fumed. And as she walked towards the school, she made sure to 'accidently' stomp and twist her foot in the very place that Ranma had kicked earlier.

"Oh Akane! My love! Surely the foul sorcerer's bonds have been broken! For you have come to hel- AAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kuno screamed, a rather girlish scream, as Akane's foot came down, hard, on a rather sensitive area.

* * *

! History Class ! 

"……….. And who can tell me which city the peace conference of 1919 was located in? Maybe you, Saotome-kun?" And being the unfocused student he is, the teacher had to throw a blackboard eraser at him to attract his attention.

! BONK !

"Huh, what?" Ranma asked, as he unconciously rubbed his head.

"Saotome-kun, I would appreciate it if you spent a little more time focused on the class, and less time daydreaming about some new martial arts technique or something."

"Sure thing, Teach. So, what was the question again?" asked Ranma

A sweatdrop appeared on the back of Mr. Tashiki (the teacher)'s head, even though he tried very hard to suppress it.

"Saotome-kun, I asked if you can tell me which city the peace conference of 1919 was located in."

"Umm…. France?" Guessed Ranma

"Saotome-kun, that is a country, not a city. Who can explain the difference between a city and a country to Saotome-kun? Maybe you, Tendo-san?"

"The difference between a country and a city is that a country is a self-supporting area, ruled by a government, usually composed of more than just a single person, unlike a city, which usually only has a mayor, and some of his advisors," Answered Akane, unenthusiastically.

"I didn't need ya to tell me that, you kawaiikune tomboy!" retorted Ranma, being unable to break his habit.

"Ranmaa…." She growled

"That's enough from the both of you! Saotome-kun, I do not tolerate you insulting anyone in this room, much less your fiancé! And Tendo-san, I've seen you out of school, and you really need to stop being so violent! I'm not sure any person other than Saotome-kun would be able to handle your blows!" Said Mr. Tashiki, as he tried to calm them down.

That got both of them. With a sigh, both of them sat down, as they said:

"Yes, sensei."

"Now, as I was saying, who can tell me the city that the peace conference of 1919 was held in? Kuonji-san?"

Ukyo stood up.

"Hai. The peace conference of 1919 was held in Versailles, which was in France, so Ranchan got it partially right! You have to give him some credit for that!" said Ukyo, as she gazed adoringly at 'Ranchan'

"I'm afraid I cannot, Kuonji-san. Calling France a city, is like calling a mountain, a hill," he replied.

"But Teach! A mountain IS a hill! It's just a bigger, rockier hill!" Ranma protested. After all, mountains would be nothing if you had a father like his.

"Saotome-kun, I am not a science teacher. I suggest that you take this argument to her, rather than bicker with me. But even I know that there is a difference."

As if on cue, the bell rang, signaling everyone to go to their next class.

* * *

! Science Class ! 

Science passed without much incident, with Ranma forgetting all about the argument on how a mountain was just a bigger hill. And of course, when teachers don't ask you questions in class, class tends to pass by pretty quickly. And since all things have to have an end, including science class, the bell rang, signaling the lunch period.

"Whoohoo! It's lunch time!" yelled Ranma, with glee, as he sprang up from his desk, where he was previously sleeping, and jumped out the window, only to hit the glass.

! SPLAT !

(Ouch, my head… Maybe I should look before jumping) Thought Ranma.

Akane sighed at her fiancé's antics.

"Honestly, Ranma. I didn't know you were stupid enough to do things without thinking. Oh wait, you always do that. Anyways, I brought your lunch for you." Akane smiled a bit, unable to conceal her amusement at Ranma crashing into the window.

"WHAT? You cooked lunch for me? Nuh uh! No way! I ain't eating that toxic sludge!" Gasped Ranma, with a fearful look on his face. No, make that terrified.

"Ranmaaa….." She growled. How dare he? She made meals that were sure to be wonderful, and then he had to insult them. Besides, she didn't even make this bento.

Ranma smartly backed away, which was rather hard, as he was already against the wall.

"I ain't hungry, Akane," Ranma said, somewhat calmly, barely holding on to his Soul of Ice. "I don't need a bento."

"Fine, you jerk! Besides, I didn't make the bento. Kasumi did!" Akane turned around, refusing to show him how close she was to tears.

(God, he's always insulting me at every chance he gets! That stupid jerk!)

Akane turned around, walking out of the classroom.

(Made by Kasumi? Whew, I thought I was a goner!) He turned around, and opened the window.

(Hah, I'm not hitting that window this time!) Thought Ranma, as he jumped out.

(Hmm… now why did I use the Soul of Ice? It didn't even help) He mused, as he continued falling. Of course, knowing the curse, he was bound to get wet again, sometime during the school day, and it just happened to be now.

! SPLASH !

(Ugh, I always get the jitters when that happens,) thought Ranma, as he involuntarily shuddered. If one strained their ears right about now, they could hear a faint voice, saying:

"Kaku-kun! I told you to dump the buckets in the sink, not out the window! Someone could get drenched!"

And an even fainter

"Gomen nasai, sensei! Although I'm sure no one got drenched. No one stands so close to the building, unless they're a loner, and there's only like, one in the school, and he's usually on the roof, or near a tree."

And as she fell, Onna-Ranma sighed.

(Geez, I can't stay a guy for more than a coupla hours, can I?)

As she neared the ground, Tatewaki Kuno, the (newly dubbed, by his peers, although he vehemently denies it) Glued Underpants just happened to look up, and saw Onna-Ranma falling to him.

"Oh my Pig-tailed goddess! Surely it is a sign that thy suffering is to an end! A just reward, for a noble man of the House of Kuno!" He proclaimed, to the sky, and everyone around him.

Unfortunately for him, Ranma is in complete control of her body this time, and manages to knock him over, and land on that tiny, squishy part of a very sensitive organ. Guess he won't be bearing kids anytime soon, eh?

"Thanks for the soft landing, Kuno-sempai!" giggled Ranma.

(Oh you've gotta be kidding me! I giggled? What'll Akane say? What'll Mom say! Or Pop? I'll never hear the end of it!)She mentally wailed, out of despair. Shaken, she slowly made her way to her usual eating place, under the shade of the tree.

! RRRRIINNGGG RRRRIINNNGGG ! Came the sound of a bicycle bell, almost as soon as she sat down.

"Nihao, Ranma! Shampoo bring too too delicious special ramen for airen!" Bubbled Shampoo, as she mercilessly squished Ranma under her bicycle.

"Gack! Not now, Shampoo! Get off!" Ranma looked pleadingly to Akane, who was under another tree, a couple of meters away. She looked away, angrily, with a "Hmmph!"

"Oh no you don't, Shampoo! Ranchan's going to eat my okonomiyaki! Besides, ramen is useless, except for the hot broth!" Ukyo stomped over, and grabbed the ramen from the delivery box, and promptly dumped its contents over Ranma's head. The transformation occurred, but due to his position under the bicycle, Ranma had to twist into an awkward position.

"Ucchan? What was that for? Now I can't even move under this bike!" Gasped Ranma, in a tiny bit of pain.

"Stupid Spatula-girl! You mess up Shampoo's ramen! Airen supposed to drink ancient 3,000 year old Amazon love potion! And Violent-girl wouldn't be able to interfere!" fumed Shampoo. 3 weeks of preparation, wasted! Taking her bon-bori maces out of Bon-bori-Space, she let out a cry, aiming them at 'Spatula-girl'. Ukyo promptly defended with her trusty battle-spatula, and the battle ensued, unfortunately leaving Ranma still stuck under Shampoo's bicycle, still in the position that guaranteed to give the victim pain beyond imagining if they did as little as twitch a muscle.

Ukyo did a leg sweep, and Shampoo jumped up, aiming for the shoulders, only to be blocked again. She sent a kick, and managed to score a hit, but not before being punched in the face by a right hook. Ukyo threw some spatu-kens, and Shampoo deflected them, nearly impaling Ranma through the head with one of them.

* * *

! Furinkan High School's Front Gate ! 

(Whew, finally made it! I thought Nabiki said I was in Nerima? I bet Ranma tricked her into telling me that it was Nerima! I knew it was Okinawa!) Ryoga growled.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, SAOTOME RANMA!" Was the cry that frightened the birds (Once more) out of the trees.

* * *

! Back to the fight ! 

Shampoo let out an imperfect Kashu Tenshin Amaguriken, at only about 30 punches per second, while Ukyo let her spatula take the punishment.

(Wow, my spatula's actually getting a dent in it! When did she get so strong? It doesn't matter! I have to be stronger, for Ranchan!)

Ukyo growled, and pushed her spatula against the punches. Finally, Shampoo tired, and the punches came to a stop. However, without the punches preventing the spatula from gaining any distance, it quickly rushed at Shampoo's head, before giving a satisfying ! BONK !. As that fight came to an end, a familiar voice could be heard.

"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!" Growled Ryoga, as he jumped into the air, preparing to take advantage of Ranma's vulnerable position. Of course, due to Nerima's unpredictable weather, all of a sudden, it started to rain, causing all four martial artists with curses to change. Ranma became Onna-Ranma, Ryoga became Akane's pet, P-Chan, Shampoo into a cat, and… Wait, did I say four? Oh yeah, don't forget Mousse, who was hiding in the tree, without his glasses, who was waiting for who he thought was Ranma to drop his guard. (He was looking at Ukyo)

Of course, wings and webbed feet don't seem to be able to grab bark as well as hands, so with a lot of loud ! QUACK !s, he fell, straight onto Ukyo's still-hot okonomiyaki grill. Mmm, anyone up for some Peking duck?

As Mousse regained control of his body after the fall, he had the strangest sensation of being roasted on a grill. Once he realized that he was indeed on a grill, he proceeded to jump off, but not before slipping on the oil. He was desperately trying to run off the grill, only to fail miserably, as the oil was too slippery to run on. In the process of trying to escape the grill, he also managed to make his escape look like tap dancing. Nabiki, being the insightful person she was, decided to video-tape the "Tap Dancing Duck". Little did Mousse know, that she would become rich off of his humiliation. Rain water soon accumulated, and the water became hot, the "Tap Dancing Duck" quickly became the "Hot, Buff, Tap Dancer". Oh boy, he was hot indeed. Red hot.

Now, back to Mr. P, Ms. Cat, and Onna-Ranma.

You know about inertia, right? You know, about how it takes more energy for something with more mass to move at the same speed as something with less mass? Well, since our friend Ryoga here was traveling at roughly 30 kmph in the air, with all of that mass just… disappearing, he suddenly zoomed off, crashing into a distant tree, at somewhere near supersonic speeds. Onna-Ranma, as her frame became smaller, was freed from her awkward position, and managed to wiggle out of the clutches of the evil bicycle. ! Shudder !, and managed to run away from the small, mewing purple monstrosity nearby, which was known to most as a cat.

"C..c...c...CAAAAAAT!!!" Ranma screeched. Shampoo winced; her sensitive cat ears were not meant to be used for listening to cries of anguish.

(I've always thought that Ranma got wet by coincidence... I guess not.) Ukyo blinked, not believing that rain was just appearing in a perfectly sunny, non-cloudy day.

Akane wasn't far off, staring at the scene of the events that just happened not to long ago.

(Oh my god! I'm scarred for life! No wait, I was already scarred for life by Ranma, that stupid macho perverted jerk! And where did Ryoga go? He just disappeared…) Akane wondered. (Hey, there's P-Chan! What's he doing halfway buried in a tree? I bet it was Ranma again, picking on P-Chan! Whatever did he do to that jerk anyways?)

"Ranma, how could you? P-Chan never did anything to you, so why did you have to hit him into the tree?" Akane's rage was now palpable. "Ranma, if you need to practice a new martial arts technique that's based on pushing someone halfway into a tree while not doing anything, you should practice it on the panda, not on my P-Chan!"

"Huh? Ain't ya gonna mallet me or somethin' right about now?" Asked a puzzled Onna-Ranma.

"I wish I could, you jerk! I just can't seem to able to pull out my mallet right now," Akane frowned, while puzzling about her mallet. Although she wouldn't be able to mallet him, Akane knew that Ranma would get her punishment soon enough, from either her, or Ukyo.

"Stop joking around, Akane. If you're going to whack me, get it over with already." She preferred to have a mallet strike without warning rather than expecting it for a couple minutes,  
because it tends to hurt when you think about it.

"Ranchan! How could you get all cuddly with her? I'm your kawaii iinazuke, remember?" Ukyo showed a hurt face.

"I..I… Err… Of course you are, ehehehehe…" Ranma trailed of nervously, while eyeing Akane. Of course, as everyone knows, rage is a very good lubrication for mallets. It's also like steroids for angry tomboys. With a Plop, she pulled the mallet out, and then shouted the age old words.

"RANMA NO BAKA!"

! WHAM !

It's a good thing that Kuno happened to be in the way, huh? Lessee… something about inertia… The transfer of energy from one object to another… Whatever. Who cares about explanations. Seeing the thing is way more fun!

So we have Akane here, who mallets Ranma, causing him to fly off at a speed reserved for a bullet train, who slams straight into the 'Glued Underpants of Furinkan High', who was running in the direction opposite of where Ranma was going. The flying Ranma slammed into Kuno, causing him to go flying off, and Ranma, who lost the majority of his speed, then slammed into Ukyo's okonomiyaki grill (That was my favorite grill! How could you, Akane!) causing it to collapse, straight onto the still clothesless Mousse, who had slipped off the grill, managing to cover him up, and protect his shattered modesty. With the remaining energy, Ranma flew straight into another tree, which unfortunately happened to be the tree that P-Chan was still buried in, releasing a couple of "Bwee"s, which could roughly be translated into "RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!" To which, Akane could only say "Oh no, P-Chan!" It seemed obvious to anyone watching that Akane didn't care a single bit about what happened to Ranma, Kuno, or even Mousse, who had almost never wronged her.

(Sigh, beaten by Ryoga for a spot on the list of people Akane cares about) Ranma moaned, a little bit heart broken, and a little bit from the soreness spreading through her body. Unfortunately for her, in Akane's haste to get to 'P-Chan', she practically threw Ranma at yet another hard object (A couple of trees) at insanely high speeds, causing massive blunt trauma to the head. I don't know about you, but everyone has a limit to how much head trauma they can take.

So soon afterwards, the world became black for Ranma, right after it stopped spinning 'round and round and round.

And only then did Ukyo finally snap out of it, deciding that figuring out how rain can appear from nowhere was too complicated. And Shampoo was already gone, heading along the path to the Neko-Hanten, completely ignoring Mousse(Baka-male).

To be Continued

* * *

Ooh, a Cliffie! Hehehe... 

Does Akane really not care about Ranma? Or did was she too worried about P-Chan to worry about Ranma? Find out next chapter!

Well, there ya have it! I do have a feeling that the conversations could be a bit better, though. Well, be sure to R&R! Ja ne!

Glossary

(Not completely exact)

Ja!/Ja ne! - Bye/Cya later!

Kawaiikune - Uncute

Baka - Idiot

LEO - Acronym for "Low Earth Orbit"

Gomen nasai - Sorry!

Nee-chan - Sister

Bento - Japanese lunchbox

Onna - Girl

Bokken - Wooden sword

Okonomiyaki - Japanese pancake

Bon-bori maces - Um... maces

Spatu-ken - Spatula shaped shurikens (I do not take credit for this word)

Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken - Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire attack. A series of really fast punches. Like, over 100 punches per second kinda fast.


	2. Chapter 2

Woohoo, an update! So who's jumping up and down in joy?

! Stares at audience !

Oookaay... well, I still got a chapter churned out. And no one reviewed for my first chappie! C'mon, how am I supposed to improve if I don't get feedback? Anyways, onwards with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: If I owned Ranma ½, Taro would appear more often, Kuno wouldn't be so delusional, and Shampoo would be what its supposed to be: hair soap!

Shampoo: But shampoo is hair soap! You think Shampoo's name is Shampoo, but Shampoo's real name is Xian Pu! You just no pronounce right!

Me:! Sweatdrop ! You mean there's a difference?

Akane: Shampoo, Xian Pu, same thing. Both crazy Amazon hussies!

Shampoo: What Violent-Girl say?!?

Akane: Grr.. I'll show you who's violent!

Me: Isn't being violent proving that you are violent, making Shampoo correct?

Akane: I'm not violent!

! WHAM !

Me: AAAAAAHHHH! I DON'T OWN RANMA ½! (Or any characters from cameo appearances)

"Oi!" – Spoken

(I wonder if Kasumi has any hot water right now... ) – Thoughts

$ Great-grandmother, when will the potion be ready? $ – Foreign Language

! At the Tendo Dojo !– Onomatopoeia, or location

I refer to Onna-Ranma as a she, her, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

Likewise, male ranma as he, him, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

* * *

Good Cause, Bad Effect

Summary of Ch. 1

Ryoga was lost, as usual. He buys information from Nabiki, and still manages to get lost, after that. Akane gets mad at Ranma, and he goes flying, transforming in mid-flight, and kicks Kuno. Hard.

During Lunch Period, Shampoo appears, and Ukyo gets in a fight with her. Ryoga tries to kill Ranma with his umbrella, and it starts raining. On a perfectly sunny day.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo, Main Room ! 

"Ah, nothing like watching TV while playing shougi, eh Genma?" Soun captured a pawn.

"Oh no, nothing like it!" Genma laughed, pausing to see if Soun was still looking at the TV. Seeing that he still was, Genma quickly grabbed Soun's newly promoted Rook, stuffing it in his gi.

Weather Forecaster: I'm so sure there won't be rain that I'll eat my hat if it rains!

* * *

Anyways, Ryoga turns in to P-Chan, and flies off into a distant tree, Akane gets mad, Ranma makes her madder, and Akane whacks him. Straight into P-Chan. And throws him away into a couple of trees, as she went to find out if P-Chan is okay, and the world turns black for Ranma.

* * *

Chapter 2

"Love Potion Gone Awry!"

Groggily, Ranma opens her eyes.

(Where am I?) She looks around. (It's so white… is this the nurse's office?)

She lifts her head, and is suddenly assaulted by the worst headache she ever had.

(Augh my head! What did that kawaiikune tomboy do now?) She rubbed her head, trying to dull the pain.

"Oh, you're awake, Saotome-san. Tendo-san did a number on you, as well as your other friends." Came a female voice, as the nurse came in. "I could see at least seven injuries. Quite a few of them seem to be from mallets, and there was one that seemed to be caused by a bike. Do you remember what happened, Saotome-san?"

"Ugh… yeah, I think. That kawaiikune tomboy whacked me hard at the beginning of the day, and the rest were from this lunch period. Shampoo practically crushed me with her bike, and the tomboy whacked me, and then threw me towards some trees. I don't remember much after that." Ranma rubbed her head again, to try and ease the pain.

"Here, take an ice pack. It'll help. According to some students, after you were thrown at some trees, you were knocked unconscious--" She was interrupted

"What? No way! I don't get knocked out!" was the outburst.

"Alright Saotome-san, so you took a short nap after being hurled towards the trees. Kuonji-san brought you here while Tendo-san went to comfort her pig."

(I knew it! She's still mad at me. Everything else has gone back to normal, but she's the only one still dwelling in the past.) Ranma concluded.

"Oh, ok. Ya got any hot water?"

"Gomen, Saotome-san. My office's water heater broke down earlier."  
"It's alright, sensei. I'll get some water later." And with that, he headed for English class.

* * *

! English Class ! 

(I hope Hinako-sensei won't drain me for being late) Ranma thought. (I don't want Akane pounding on me for pressing the pressure points again.)

With a sigh, she opened the door. And as soon as the door opened, the bell rang, signaling for the next period.

"Hey buddy, nice timing!" Came a voice. "I wish I could do that!"

Ranma stuck her head in the door, to see a smiling Daisuke waving his hand, as he picked up his books.

"Ranma! You're so mean! I bet you skipped my class on purpose!" Came the voice of Hinako, in child form.

"I.. uh… didn't mean ta do that! Hehe, gotta go, bye!" Ranma backed away, rather unsure of what to do, before heading to gym.

"Ranchan! How are you? Are you feeling better? I know I wouldn't be up so quickly if that happened to me," Came a cheery voice.

"Oh, Ucchan! Hey, thanks for takin' me to the nurse, though I didn't need it." The last part came out as a mutter.

"No problem, sugar. I'm just hoping that you're feeling better."

"Yeah, sure." Came the reply, as she went to get some hot water, and throw away the melted icepack.

* * *

! Physical Education ! 

"Alright class, do your warm ups. Today, we're going to do a little jogging on the track, and we'll finish off with some baseball. The sooner you finish your jogging, the more time you get with baseball. So, move it, folks!" Came the cry.

"Hai!" came the chorus, as the students started on their activities.

(Woohoo! My favorite period!) Ranma had a calm, peaceful look on his face as he ran around the track.

"Hey Ranma! You aren't going to keep scoring home runs today, are you? The last time you did it, the score was 5-42! It's real unfair for the other team," Hiroshi called, as he tried to get closer to Ranma.

"Of course I'm gonna score home runs! Besides, you can't blame me for your team being so pathetic," came the confident reply. "Anyways, I'm gonna go finish my laps now, if you don't mind."

* * *

! Baseball Field ! 

"Saotome's going to be on my team!" Argued the first captain.

"No, mine!" Came the reply, from the other captain.

"He's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!

"Get your own martial artist!"

Everyone watching the two bicker quickly grew sweatdrops on the back of their heads.

The teacher quickly came over.

"Oi, what's the problem here?"

"He's mine!"

"No, mine!"

"Boys, stop bickering like ladies." Even the teacher couldn't resist sweatdropping.

"Why not just flip a coin?" Surprisingly, it was Gosunkugi who spoke up, holding a 50 yen coin in his hand.

"Hey, good idea! I'll take heads," said captain #1.

"Tails for me," said captain #2

Gosunkugi flipped the coin, and it landed on tails.

"Yatta!" Came the cry. "Beeeeed!" was heard, as he pulled his eye down.

* * *

!Softball Field ! 

"Akane, I know he thinks your food is bad, but don't feel so down. He's just being a jerk again," came the reassuring voice of Sayuri.

"He even hurt P-Chan again! That just proves he's a jerk," Yuka agreed.

"Heh, thanks guys. That stupid jerk." Akane smiled. She was feeling a whole lot better, and a lot less mad, thanks to her two friends.

A faint cry of "HOME RUN!!!" was heard over the distance, and a baseball came flying down, into the softball field. Unfortunately, a certain black piglet happened to be exactly where the baseball landed.

"BWEEE!" came the cry of pain.

"BWEE BWEE BWEEEEE!!!" (DAMN YOU, SAOTOME!)

Of course, whenever something bad happens to him, #1 on the list of culprits would always be Ranma. When he got his curse, who's fault was it? Ranma's. When he got lost, who's fault was it? Ranma. And the list goes on, and on, and on.

"Oh no! P-Chan! Are you alright? My poor baby!" Cooed Akane.

Now, if Ranma were here, he was sure to be disgusted. And maybe a little bit jealous.

"Wow, a lot of strange things have been happening today," commented Sayuri.

"I know. Ranma getting knocked out? That's pretty much unheard of," Yuka agreed. Ranma, knocked out? The rumor mill had been running at full capacity.

"Akane knocked Ranma out! Does that means he's free now?" Was one of the things heard.

* * *

! Baseball Field ! 

"HOME RUN!!!"

"Good job, man!" Daisuke raised a hand.

"It was nuthin'" Ranma returned the gesture, and gave him a clap, and then went into the locker room.

(Hmm.. I wonder if I should.. nahh) Daisuke thought to himself, as a perverted looking grin came onto his face.

* * *

! Boys' Locker Room ! 

As Ranma made his way to the showers, everyone seemed to be looking at him expectantly. But as soon as he looked back, they averted his gaze. With a shrug, he turned on the water, relaxing under the steaming water. What he didn't know was that a couple of boys had turned of the heater, so there was only a limited amount of hot water running through the pipe.

(Something's wrong... The water should be hotter than this,) he mused, as the water coming out started becoming colder. (Oh well, I guess the heater ain't running at full capacity today.)

Of course, by the time the water turned cold enough to cause the transformation, it was too late to jump out. Suddenly, Onna-Ranma felt the many leers of the assembled boys, and was suddenly feeling very exposed.

"PERVERTS!" Came the cry, as Onna-Ranma pulled instinctively on the action deeply ingrained in every female's brain, as she pummeled the boys, making sure to give them black eyes. No mallet, though. Mallets are strictly for Akane, and Akane only. Besides, she trademarked them.

(That'll teach them to try that stunt again!) She thought, with a "Hmph!"

With a sigh, she finished her shower, and donned her clothes, heading out of school.

Almost as soon as she left the school building, a certain ancient pervert came bounding towards the girls' locker room.

"Oh hehehehe! So many silky darlings! Poppa's come to liberate you from your prisons!"

He shouted, with anticipation. Of course, in his excitement, he forgot all about the girls still in the locker room.

"EEK! A PERVERT!" Came the chorus.

"Pervert? Why, no! I've only come to liberate my silky darlings!" He cried, as he used his martial arts borne speed to steal certain silky undergarments.

"Bye girls!" he laughed, as he took off with his bag filled.

"After him, girls!" Snarled a girl, armed with a mop, leading the other girls, also armed with various weapons, and boys' undergarments.

* * *

! A street somewhere in Nerima ! 

Ranma sighed, as she walked on the fence.

(Today's just been completely crazy at school. Well, crazier than usual.)

"What a haul! What a haul!" Came the cry. "Oh Ranma-chan! Come wear this for me, will you?" He pulled out a lacy bra, and did a horrible imitation of puppy eyes.

"Why you! I'll never wear that! Hell will freeze over before ya get me in that!" came the angry reply.

"He's this way! C'mon, girls!" Was heard, as the girls chasing Happosai saw him.

"Uh oh, gotta run! Here Ranma, catch!" He threw the bag over to Ranma, who instinctively caught it.

"What?! Traitor! You're a girl! How could you help that letch?" The lead girl looked so angry, that you could see the chi coming off of her, in waves of hatred.

"Now wait just a second! I don't want this! Here, you take it then!" Ranma threw the bag over, and ran as quickly as she could.

(Wow, now they even think my girl form is in leagues with the old pervert! It's all his fault!) She looked back, and saw that the girls weren't giving chase to her, before finally slowing down.

(Hmm, I wonder where Akane is? Oh well, she's probably with Sayuri and Yuka.) Ranma jumped onto a roof, and started roof hopping instead, towards the dojo.

* * *

! A street somewhere in Nerima ! 

(Oh, that stupid heir of mine! How could she abandon my pretties to the girls? And to think, I was actually considering giving her a cure!) Happosai stared down at the girls, who were trying to figure out which undergarments were whose. (I'll just have to steal them back, I guess.)

With that, he hopped down and grabbed his sack, now missing a couple of panties, and left.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo, Main Room ! 

"Tadaima!" Ranma called out.

"O-kaeri!" came Kasumi's reply.

She came in, and set down her pack.

"Kasumi, do you have any hot water?" She inquired.

"Gomen, Ranma-kun. I'll start the kettle right now."

Genma, noting that Ranma was home, decided to try a sneak attack, while Ranma was busy talking to Kasumi.

"Whoa!" Ranma was thrown into the koi pond.

"Insolent boy! You're growing soft!" Genma shouted, after her.

"Pop! What was that for?" She stood up. "It's rude ta attack people when they're talking ta someone else!"

"A martial artist must be ready at a moment's notice! You should never let your guard down!"

"Pop! My opponents never attack from behind my back! They always shout something before attacking, like Ryoga!" She growled, and proceeded to kick him into the pond.

"Boy! I know that, but you still most nev-rowf! Growf growf growf!" The words transformed into incomprehensible growls.

"Hmm? Whats that Pop? I can't hear you." Ranma walked back into the house, leaving the panda to sit in the pond.

"Kasumi? Is the kettle ready?"

"Hai, Ranma-kun. Please be sure to clean up the water afterwards. I'm going to go shopping for supplies, and a quick trip to Tofu-sensei." Kasumi handed over the kettle, and picked up her purse, preparing to go.

"Arigatou!" Ranma poured some water over her head. He then went into the dojo to practice.

Soon afterwards, Akane came home.

"Tadaima!" Came the call, as she took off her shoes.

(Kasumi must be out shopping,) she noted. She gave a quick hello to her father, who was reading the newspaper. Genma soon bumbled in, grabbing the kettle Ranma used earlier, to transform back.

"Insolent boy, transforming me to avoid a lecture," he grumbled. "Soun! Are you prepared to lose this time?"

"Lose? No my friend, it'll be you who loses this time!" Soun pulled out the shougi board, and set up his pieces.

"Oh, we'll see about that!" Genma set up his own pieces, and made his move.

Akane headed up the stairs to do her homework, not wanting to have to share the dojo with Ranma, who she knew was in there, judging from the sounds.

"I'll set you down in just a moment, P-Chan! Don't you worry." Akane looked at P-Chan, who was getting restless.

"Bwee!"

Akane went upstairs, into her room, and set P-Chan down on the bed, before changing her clothes. Realizing that Akane was going to change, P-Chan turned around. If one looked closely enough at P-Chan, they could see a tinge of purple on his face, as if it were blushing.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo Gate ! 

"What a haul! What a haul!" Came a cheery voice.

(Whew, those girls sure were persistent! Now to iron my silky darlings!) Happosai bounded into the dojo, causing both Soun and Genma to grovel at his feet.

"M-m-m-Master! We trust that your hunt was successful?"

"Oh, yes it was! So many silky darlings liberated tonight!" Happosai jumped up the stairs, and went into his room, humming happily.

Genma and Soun got off the floor.

"Now where were we, Soun?" Genma, seeing that Soun was still looking up the stairs, quickly pocketed a couple of his pieces.

"Hey, didn't I have more pieces?" Soun looked at the board, puzzled.

"No no, of course not! You just forgot how magnificent my previous move was!" Genma exclaimed.

"Oh yes, of course." He moved his rook, capturing a pawn.

* * *

! Akane's Room ! 

(Now, to find some hot water!) P-Chan looked at the door. (Yes! It's open!)

He headed through, ignoring Akane's call of

"P-Chan? Where are you going?"

Just as he reached the stairs, he tripped, and tumbled all the way down the staircase, and continued rolling, until he hit the counter on which the kettle was on.

"BWEE-WWWW!" P-Chan turned into Ryoga, who was rubbing his head with one hand, and covering himself with the other.

Soun and Genma, both seeing the transformation, just shrugged. After all, if another man was sleeping with Akane, Ranma would get jealous, and try to get along with Akane better.

Ryoga, wondering where his pack was, wandered around the living room, until he came to a desert.

(Hm, strange… I never knew the Tendo's owned a desert,) he mused to himself. After passing a couple of cacti, he found himself in a strange temple, and there was his pack!

(Wow, the Tendo's own a temple too?) After donning his clothes, he walked back in the direction he came from, only to see a series of springs around the mountain side.

(Wow, I never knew the Tendo's had Jusenkyo in their house!)

Obviously, his sense of direction is so bad, that it actually warps space around him. After all, who else in the world can walk from a house, to the Sahara Desert, to the Amazon Jungle, into a Mayan temple, and then to Jusenkyo in the span of around five minutes?

After a couple more minutes of wandering around, Ryoga was sick of it.

"DAMN YOU RANMA! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Ryoga cried out the age old words.

"You know, it's not very nice to scream your head off in my office," came an amused chuckle.

Ryoga looked up, and read the words on the sign.

(Kami-sama's Office?!? Why the hell am I here?)

"K-k-k-Kami-sama! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Ryoga groveled. Now that's a sight to see. Ryoga, groveling?

"Now there's no need for that, young man. So you're the famed Lost Boy? I've read your file, but I never knew your sense of direction was that bad." Kami-sama wondered.

(I could fix that, but then it wouldn't be so fun to watch the happenings of Nerima…)

Now, Ryoga doesn't take very kindly to people "insulting" his sense of directions, but his next words could very well be fatal.

"WHAT?? KAMI-SAMA, PREPARE TO DIE!"

"Ahahahahaha! Oh, you provide me with a good laugh. It's been quite boring around here. Hmm, if you'd like, you could always stay here and become my personal comedian," Kami-sama offered.

"What, you aren't mad?"

"Why would I? I'm immortal, so it's impossible for me to die. So it's simply very entertaining whenever I get death threats. Why, the last time I've gotten a death threat to my face was over a millennia ago!"

"Oh. Well, as much as I'd like to become your personal comedian," Ryoga let out a grimace, "I still have to get revenge on Ranma. Could you please show me the way out?"

"Oh, there's no need for that." Kami-sama picked up his phone. "Bell-chan, could you escort a lost mortal boy down back to Midgard for me? Thanks."

A glow appeared in Kami-sama's mirror, and Belldandy came out of it.

"This is the boy, Father?" A sweet, angelic voice was heard.

"Yes, could you please escort him to the Tendo Dojo? Thanks."

"Sure thing. C'mon!" She grabbed Ryoga's hand, and pulled him into the mirror.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo Bathroom ! 

! Splash !

"Oh great, just my luck. The faucet just happens ta be leaky." Onna-Ranma wiped her face.

Suddenly, the mirror began to glow brightly

"What the?" Ranma shielded her eyes.

"AAAAAAAH!" Ryoga came flying out, along with Belldandy.

"R..r..Ryoga?!?" Was the astonished response.

(No way… he just came flying out of the mirror with a girl that looks like Kasumi!)

She blinked again, and then rubbed her eyes.

"Kasumi? Ryoga? Is it really you?"

"Oh my! Oh no, I'm not Kasumi. I'm the Goddess Belldandy, First Class, Unlimited, and Norn of the Present. I've only come to bring this boy home. It appears that he was lost, and somehow found his way into Father's office," Belldandy corrected.

"Father? Ya mean Kami-sama?" Ranma asked, bewildered

(Heaven exists? Kami-sama exists? No way!)

"Well anyways, I have other duties to attend to. Ja ne!" And with that, she went back through the mirror.

"Wow… so pretty…"

"Ryoga? Heyy?" Ranma waved a hand in front of his face.

"Helloooo? Ryoga? Are you okay?"

"So beautiful… and she's gone… RANMA, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! DON'T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT!" His mood turned sour.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't do nuthin'!" Ranma made warding gestures.

"ARGH! YOU TOOK HER AWAY! COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" He gave chase. "Or is it that you like being a girl?"

Ranma gritted her teeth.

"I'm a guy! And if you wanna fight, lets fight! But not here. Let's either take it outside, or into the dojo!"

(Sometimes, it's like I'm the only one with any common sense. Ryoga blames me for everything, Akane just mallets me, and nobody else ever listens to me.) Ranma looked towards the koi pond, before changing her mind.

(Kasumi would get mad, and the grass just healed from the last brawl), she decided. (The dojo it is!)

Of course, Akane just happens to come out of her room, looking for P-Chan.

"P-Chan! P-Chan? Where are you?" She catches a glimpse of Ryoga chasing Ranma.

"Ranma! Stop picking on Ryoga!" She automatically assumes that Ranma started it.

Ranma reaches the dojo, and then assumes a stance.

"C'mon Ryoga. If you want a fight, now I'm ready."

"You've finally stopped running. Well now, PREPARE TO DIE!" Ryoga let out his battle cry.

Suddenly, the dojo wall broke, revealing Shampoo on her bike.

! RRIIINNGGG RRRIIINGG !

"Shampoo bring more too too delicious ramen for Airen!" She bubbled happily, before pouncing.

"What? Shampoo?!? Not right now! I'm busy fighting Ryoga!" She gasped out.

"SAOTOME! STOP CHASING SHAMPOO NOW!" Came an enraged shout.

(Oh brother, it's Mousse! I have a feeling that he's not the last person to come.) Ranma groaned, still under Shampoo.

"SAOTOME! HOW DARE YOU, YOU TWO-TIMING LOUT! AKANE'S YOUR FIANCÉ!" Ryoga, suddenly feeling much more murderous, pounced, umbrella in hand.

"Oh no you don't, Shampoo! Ranchan's going to be eating my okonomiyaki, not some stupid drugged ramen!" Ukyo jumped through the hole Shampoo made earlier, while simultaneously deflecting Ryoga's umbrella from Ranma.

Konatsu soon followed, worried about 'Ukyo-sama'.

"Oh hohohohohohohohoho! Did someone say Ranma-sama was here?" Kodatchi Kuno appeared, holding one of her trademark black roses.

"Oh, it's only you, you hussy. No matter! Without you, Ranma-sama's heart will be mine!" She leapt into the fray.

"Pig-tailed girl! Oh how I've longed to see you! Surely the vile sorcerer's magic has faded; I have not seen him in a day! But first, to get rid of these peasants! Strike! Strike! Strike!" The 'Glued Underpants' charged in.

(Oh brother, now even Bokken-boy's here,) Ranma groaned. Of course, she was glad that Kuno's attack had managed to push Shampoo off of her.

"Alright! I'm free! Now who wants some?" She got in a stance.

"Peasants! All of you! Prepare to taste my paralyzing powder!" Kodatchi threw a rose, which began spewing powder all over the place.

"Sister of mine, have you forgotten that your silly powder cannot affect one such as I?" Kuno asked, as he continued with his attack. "Strike! Strike! Strike!"

"Aiyah! This powder too too weak compared to ancient 3,000 year old Chinese herbs!" Utilizing this opportunity, she opened Onna-Ranma's mouth, and proceeded to dump her ramen in, and staring directly in her eyes, checking to see if it worked.

Ryoga, who was too busy thinking about revenge, managed to jump halfway into the air, trying to hit Ranma with his umbrella, before being paralyzed in midair, with his umbrella falling out of his hands.

As you may well know, love potions don't work when a girl looks at a girl, so once Ranma swallowed the ramen, she completely missed Shampoo, looking past her at Ryoga.

(Wow, I never knew Ryoga was so cute and handsome before!) was the first thought she had, as she started blushing. (Agh! I can't believe I thought that about Ryoga!)

(But you can't deny that he's cute!)

(What?!? Ryoga? No way!)

(Look at his cute fangs! Don't you just want to kiss him?)

(No! Never!)

(Oh, you know you want to!)

(Ahgh... yeah... kinda.)

Her normal mind lost, as her heart started beating faster, her blush turning deep red, as she puckered her lips in anticipation.

* * *

! Ryoga's POV ! 

(Argh, stupid powder! I bet Ranma told all of them to come here so that he could hide behind them!) Jumping into the air, preparing to attack once more, he readied his umbrella, when suddenly, his muscles locked up.

(Argh, it's so hard to move! But I'll get her yet! How dare she mess up our fight?)

Ryoga felt the grip on his umbrella slipping.

(No! I can't hold onto my umbrella!) He made a panicking motion, only managing to spread his arms a bit, while also dropping his weapon.

(What's Ranma doing? Why's she blushing?) His eyes widened, as he saw Ranma pucker her lips.

(Oh my god! I'm going to land mouth-to-mouth on her!)

* * *

Dun dun dun! 

Evil cliffie! Hmm, now Ryoga's got 3 people he could pair up to (including Ranma) Hah, another koi-rod-ish situation

I know, I know, most of you are thinking "WTF? Ryoga x Ranma?"

Don't worry, I probably won't do it, unless I get like.. a lot of votes or something. It'll be sorta awkward, trying to mash them together.

Well, anyways the situation fits in the "Good Cause" area, with a "Bad Effect." Although it might not be considered "Good" to anyone other than the Amazons. Oh, and can anyone tell me if they think I'm overusing the "3,000 year old ancient Amazon" phrase? It's supposed to be sarcasm, but I'm not sure if everyone appreciates it as much as I do.

So go ahead and vote!

Ranma – 0

Akane – 0

Akari – 0

And I'm still thinking about who Ranma could be paired up to. Or maybe there could be no pairing at all. I mean, anything he does would ruin his family honor, wouldn't it? And besides, I don't want to do a Ranma x Akane pairing. I mean, Akane's always malleting him. It'll take years for any kind of "anti-malleting" conditioning to work.

Glossary

(These definitions are not necessarily accurate)

If you don't understand anything, check the previous chapter for the glossary there. Or use a translator, and maybe use that annoying "context clues" thing that your language arts teacher is screaming at you to use.

Tadaima - I'm home!

O-kaeri - Welcome back!

Shougi - Japanese Chess

Yatta - Hooray! Whee! Woohoo! etc.

Beeeeed! - When you pull an eyelid down and stick your tongue out. You make that noise when you do it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If I owned Ranma ½, Mousse would take a loan from Nabiki and get laser eye surgery, and beat Shampoo in a fight, and Ranma wouldn't be wrongfully accused of being a pervert.

Akane: What?!? Are you saying that I'm accusing Ranma of being a pervert when he isn't one?

Me: Yup! Exactly correct!

Akane: WHAAAT?!? He is a pervert! I'll prove it! He walked in on me while I was taking a bath!

Me: Um… wasn't that you who walked in on Ranma?

Akane!Blush! It's different when a girl sees a boy!

Me: Ooh, is that a blush I see? You're such a hypocrite!

Akane: UNKNOWN NO BAKA!

! Conk !

Ranma: Welcome to my life.

Me: Itai! Anyways, I don't own Ranma ½. (Or any characters from cameo appearances from other anime, or books, etc.)

"Oi!" – Spoken

( I wonder if Kasumi has any hot water right now…) – Thoughts

$ Great-grandmother, when will the potion be ready? $ – Foreign Language

! At the Tendo Dojo ! – Onomatopoeia, or location

I refer to Onna-Ranma as a she, her, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

Likewise, male ranma as he, him, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

By the way, I trust that as readers, you will be able to handle a little sappy romance, and the acts that come along with it. You know, kissing, and whatever people do while doing it. (No, I don't mean scenes involving **it**. The rating would be higher if it did.) !CoughnotthatIwouldknowanythingaboutitCough!Shifty eyes!

Now on with the story!

* * *

Good Cause, Bad Effect

Chapter 2 Summary

Ranma goes to gym, pummels the perverts during the shower, and gets pestered by Happosai, who seems to have a cure.

Ryoga, gets lost as usual, somehow finds his way into Kami-sama's office, gets escorted back to Midgard (Earth), and starts an all out brawl with almost all members of the NWC.

Shampoo manages to get some "too too delicious special ramen" down Onna-Ranma's throat. Ryoga attempted to do an attack, while under the effects of a paralysis powder, failing miserably, and sees Ranma eye-to-eye. Uh oh.

* * *

Chapter 3

"Ranma and Ryoga! An unlikely couple"

Akane was still looking for P-Chan, when s he heard the sound of an all out brawl coming from the dojo. Deciding to check it out, she walked over to the dojo door, and opened it, only to see Ranma and Ryoga, in a liplock, with Ryoga's hands on the protrusions on Ranma's chest. That was the last thing she saw, before everything became red.

"RANMA NO HENTAI!" Akane rushed in, snarling, before collapsing due to the paralysis powder still in the air.

"Can it be? There is a second sorcerer! How dare you steal the Pig-tailed girl's lips?!? Those were to be mine for the taking, once I freed her heart!" Kuno ran towards the couple. "Strike! Strike! Strike!"

Shampoo sat there, stunned.

(Aiyah! Shampoo forget Ranma still female! Now Airen love Pig-boy instead of Shampoo!) Shampoo realized, with some disbelief.

"R..R..Ranchan?!?" Ukyo managed to gasp out, horrified.

"Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu managed to get closer to Ukyo, if only to comfort her.

(Yes! Now since Ranma's busy kissing Ryoga and all that, Shampoo is mine!) Mousse laughed, with glee.

"Shampoo! Don't worry about Ranma! I'll make it all better!" He got up, and proceeded to glomp Kodatchi.

"Unhand me, you peasant!" Kodatchi struggled, before pushing him off, directly into her delusional brother's path.

"Take that, you peasant!" Kodatchi sneered.

(Serves that peasant right,) she thought, as she saw Kuno plow into Mousse.

* * *

! Ryoga's POV ! 

So great was his feeling of impending doom, that when he tried to yell, nothing came out.

(Oh no! At this rate, we really WILL do a mouth-to-mouth!) He mentally groaned, before he finally contacted Ranma. His hands twitched.

(Ranma's lips are so soft,) he noted. Suddenly, he had a feeling that something squishy was in his hands. He squeezed them, and heard something similar to a moan from Ranma, as well as feeling her tongue. He blushed, before accidently tasting and swallowing some of the residual ramen broth on Ranma's tongue, causing him to be slightly influenced by it. Under its influence, Ryoga was able to do things he normally wouldn't be able to do without fainting.

(Mmm… she tastes like ice cream,) he noted, before starting a tongue war with Ranma.

* * *

! Ranma's POV ! 

She felt Ryoga squeeze both of THEM, causing her to moan, and get excited in a certain way. Then, she felt Ryoga stick his tongue in her mouth, and they battled, with their tongues.

(I never knew Ryoga could be so... so… forward! I knew he was cute, but wow! I've always thought that he would faint if he did anything even remotely intimate.) She gasped, as she felt Ryoga nibble on her lip, and she stuck her tongue inside Ryoga's mouth, tasting him.

(Mmm, just like pork. Good ol' Pig-boy actually tastes like pig!)

* * *

! Tendo Dojo ! 

While Onna-Ranma and Ryoga were busy making out, Akane stared at the scene, feeling utterly betrayed.

(He was supposed to marry me! And then they crashed the wedding! And now look what he does! He kisses a boy! A BOY! I can't believe that pervert!) Akane let out a tear, hoping that no one saw it. Wow, talk about mood swings.

Shampoo, after seeing the liplock, ran towards the Neko-Hanten, all the while screaming

"Hibaa-chan!", with Mousse giving chase, screaming something sounding like

"Shampoo! You're free to love me now!"

Ukyo stared some more, unable to move.

(Ranchan's supposed to kiss me! I'm supposed to be the girl! And she's supposed to be the boy!) Ukyo mentally wailed, while simultaneously lowering the 'flood gates'. Tears streamed down her face, and her face drooped into a hopeless look.

Kodatchi, wondering why everyone became so quiet, decided that since no one was fighting anymore, she was the winner, and proceeded to run back to her mansion, while laughing that horrible laugh, all while dragging her brother with her, to keep him away from 'that peasant girl'.

"Oh hohohohohohohohoho!" Was heard, and everyone nearby cringed instinctively.

Soon after Kodatchi left, the paralysis powder in the air started dissipating, leaving the couple still busily making out in the middle of the floor. Now, you might be wondering, how is it that they were not affected by the powder?

Well, due to the distinctive strength of Chinese herbs, they were powerful enough to cancel out any kind of drug weaker than they were, and Kodatchi's paralysis powder just happened to be under that category.

Akane, being able to move once more, ran out of the dojo, tears spilling down her face.

(Ranma, you jerk!) She thought, as she ran up the stairs, and into her room, slamming it as hard as she could, without breaking the door.

Ukyo still sat on the dojo floor, still stunned, but not from the powder. Konatsu, realizing that his mistress was too heartbroken to walk by herself, decided to carry her back to the diner, leaving Ranma and Ryoga alone.

The couple broke apart, gasping for breath.

"Ya know, Ryoga-chan, you're a great kisser," Ranma giggled.

"You aren't bad yourself." Ryoga, having caught his breath, leaned in once more.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo Main Room ! 

"Tadaima!" Kasumi called out.

"O-kaeri, Kasumi," Soun called back,still focused on the game. Kasumi looked at the counter, and frowned, realizing that the floor was wet, along with the kettle being on the floor.

(I thought I told Ranma-kun to clean up afterwards, unless it was one of the others… Perhaps it was Genma-san? No, he's usually responsible enough to clean up. Or maybe it was Ryoga-kun?)

Nabiki came down the stairs, after hearing that Kasumi was home.

"Nabiki, do you know who last used the kettle?" Kasumi asked. After all, Nabiki was the only other person who knew everything that happened around the house.

"2,000 yen, please." Nabiki stuck out her hand.

"Nabiki! I would be most unpleased if you do not tell me who caused this mess." Kasumi chided. "Besides, you shouldn't charge people for simple information, much less family."

"Oh, alright, nee-chan," Nabiki gave up. "I believe it was Ryoga who used it last."

"Oh dear, I suppose I'll have to tell him about this." Nabiki smiled, knowing that Kasumi was up for a shock.

"Oh my! Ranma-chan, Ryoga-san, that is most improper!" Kasumi checked the dojo, and gasped, as she saw them kissing, with Ryoga's hands under Ranma's shirt.

"Didn't you two know that if you go much further than that, it's also rather hard to stop? It's a good thing I found you two before going much further. If you two had done… IT, then marriage would be the only way to preserve both sides' honor!" Kasumi admonished.

"And how would you know about that, Kasumi?" Nabiki came up behind her, intent on finding her secret.

"Oh my! Oh no! I've never done anything like that before!" Kasumi managed to croak out. Now for the kill.

"Kasumi, you can't fool me. Obviously, you are even worse of a liar than Ranma is. Now tell me, who's the lucky guy?"

"Oh, you've got me. It's…" Kasumi blushed.

"Go on…"

"_Tofu-sensei_," she managed to whisper.

"Tofu-sensei?!?" Nabiki was puzzled. "But he always goes ballistic around you!"

"It's just an act now…" Kasumi explained. "He started being able to control himself about two months ago, and then he told me those words that I've longed to hear for just about forever!: 'Kasumi, I..I..I love you!'"

"Oh wow, I'm glad for you, Kasumi. C'mon, tell me about it!" Nabiki's eyes turned into money signs.

(I've hit the jackpot now!)

"Oh Nabiki, it was so wonderful! He managed to ask me out on a date, stuttering so much, oh! It was so cute! And then he took me out on the most wonderful date I've ever been on, and told me that he loved me so much at the end!" Kasumi sighed, obviously back in dreamland.

"Ooh girl, you've got it baaad." Nabiki also sighed, moved by the story. "I wish something like that could happen to me, but nooo, I'm just the Ice Queen, and everyone's scared of me." It hurt to admit it, but she soon felt much better.

Just then, Ryoga and Ranma broke apart.

"I love you, Ryo-chan."

"Same, my beautiful tomboy."

"I hope Akane ain't too mad at us," Ranma sighed, in contentment.

With that word, Ryoga was hit with conflicting emotions.

(Argh! I love Ranma! Wait, what about Akane? And Akari? Nooo! I love them all!) Just then, Ryoga realized something. (I'm turning into Kuno! DAMN You…?) Ryoga was unable to think of anyone to blame, as the effects of the potion started to fade. Just then, Ryoga realized the situation he was in.

"Wha… what am I doing?" Ryoga stared. In his hands was something squishy, and they were both under Ranma-chan's shirt.

Squeeze squeeze

Just then, he realized what he was grabbing, and had a massive nosebleed, propelling himself to the opposite side of the dojo.

"Heehee! Isn't Ryo-chan just sooo cute when he's shy like that?" Ranma asked her audience.

"Well, sort of, but it'll be hell to clean the blood out of carpet. At least it's wood in here," Nabiki commented.

(I wish I brought my camera… I could have made so much money off of that.)

"Oh dear, Akane would be rather disappointed if she saw this… I'll go check and see if she's okay." Kasumi walked around the corner, and went up the stairs, knocking on Akane's door.

"Akane-chan? Are you okay?"

"! Sniff ! Go 'way, 'sumi," came the reply.

"Akane-chan, it's not right to keep your emotions to yourself like that. Let me help."

"Fine. Come in if you want."

Kasumi went in, closing the door softly as she entered.

* * *

! Neko-Hanten ! 

"Hibaa-chan! Hibaa-chan!" came Shampoo's cry.

"Great-granddaughter, what is the matter?" Cologne came bouncing out, on her staff.

"Shampoo make big mistake! Shampoo give girl-type Airen special ramen instead of boy-type! And Airen look at Pig-boy and they kiss!" She sobbed.

"Oh dear… the Quick Lust Potion©… Its antidote is rather hard to prepare," Cologne explained, while searching her bookcase.

$ Shampoo? $"

"Hai?" Shampoo was puzzled.

(Didn't hibaa-chan say to use the local dialect in their own soil?)

$ Listen carefully, child. The ingredients I want you to find are quite rare, and if you want to fix this problem, you must gather the ingredients alone. Now, there are some special mushrooms that semi-rare near the Nyūchezū, but extremely rare here. In a forest, northeast of us, I believe it to be around a day's travel away, there is a mystical spring that radiates what is known as Mana. The mushrooms are rumored to be able to cancel out the effects of any potion, but in truth, it is only useful as an ingredient to make such a potion. $ As the Matriarch explained, she drew a map for Shampoo, using an old dusty book as a reference.

"Shampoo, take Mr. Part-time with you. If you get lost, you can always have him scout, and don't forget to bring lots of heat-retaining bags for water. I expect to see you ready to go by tomorrow." Cologne hopped away into the kitchen, preparing for the dinner rush.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo ! 

"Ahahaha, I guess I win again, my friend!" Genma laughed, feeling good about himself. "I'll clean up the board this time, Soun." The Tendo patriarch nodded, heading over to the table, to read the newspaper some more. Genma pulled the stolen pieces out of his gi, placing them into the container for pieces. He piled them up neatly, using care usually reserved typically for the Art. Speaking of the Art...

(I wonder how the boy's doing? Probably slacking off…" Genma eyed the freshly baked cookies that were still cooling down in the kitchen. He resisted the temptation, focusing on finding Ranma instead. He stretched out his ki senses, noting that Ranma was in the Dojo with another person, who also had a strong aura. Perhaps they were sparring?

Genma ventured to find out. He looked inside, and found Onna-Ranma, sitting on the ground, blouse wrinkled, with a button unbuttoned, and Ryoga lying on the ground, with blood still freely flowing down his nose.

"Boy! Were you practicing seduction techniques?" Genma was shocked. A man amongst men should never have to result to such petty tricks! He already disapproved of the revealing pictures used to distract Happosai during that first fight.

"Father? Whatever are you talking about?" Ranma gave him an innocent look, coupled with a giggle. Ryoga was out cold, so might as well start a fight to pass the time.

"Boy! You should never result to such petty tricks in a fight where you can hold your own very easily! You wouldn't want your opponents to think you're a slut, would you? Imagine that! Ranma Saotome, Man Amongst Men, a slut! Hahaha!" Genma laughed, sarcastically.

"Seriously, boy. Your mother will kill you if you make a habit out of it. She accepts you for what you are, but is scared that you will not be a true Man Amongst Men. Do not disappoint me, boy!"

"You're all talk, ain'tcha, Pop?"

With that, the impromptu sparring session began. Genma took the offensive, feinting a punch, and doing a kick at Ranma's solar plexus. She blocked, grabbing Genma's foot, and attempting to throw him to the floor. Genma lifted his body up, using the captured limb, and tried to do a head smash. Ranma, realizing Genma's strategy, tossed him towards a wall.

Genma flipped in the air, landing on his feet.

"Is that all you've got, boy?" Genma took a different stance, awaiting an attack.

"Oh, I'll show you what I can do!" Ranma rushed forward, using her superior speed in her cursed form to rush behind Genma, and jab backwards at him. Genma parried the blow, and tried a leg sweep. Ranma jumped into the air, dodging, and lashed out with a punch. For a second, it didn't look like he would be able to dodge.

Genma, realizing his predicament, used some ki to speed up body. The fight quickly escalated from here. Noticing Genma's use of ki, Ranma started applying it into her own katas. Now that ki was allowed into the fight, she used a move that she threw rather casually.

"_Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken!_"

Hundreds of punches went flying at Genma. Genma, having not tested the actual limit of his skills if he went all out, decided to do so this time. After all, he hadn't really had a good fight against Ranma's cursed side in a while; Ranma always arrived in formal challenges in his original form. Besides, the morning duels were all just to test the boy's senses.

He moved his body this way and that. The strain was obviously taking a toll on his out of shape body. Eventually, he had to resort to parrying blows.

(Whew, Ranma's body is truly stronger than my own. However, I have much more endurance as well as skill!)

Just then, a punch went through Genma's defences as he was busy thinking. He crashed down onto the floor.

"Don't disappoint you? You're the disappointment, Pop!"

"Hehehe…" Genma chuckled, getting up, and wiping his mouth.

"What's so funny, Pop?" Ranma was confused. Her father would normally get back up and say something like "Insolent boy!" and redouble his efforts.

"You've gone beyond my expectations, son." Genma smiled, some sweat dripping down from his forehead. Ranma wrinkled her brow.

"Expectations? You had expectations? Of what? Me being able to hit you?"

"Boy! You should respect your elders! However, I will let this go this time. Did you not count how many punches you threw in that attack?"

"Yeah, 500, wasn't it? Just my normal cursed form's speed."

"Oh. Nevermind… but however, I need to test this theory out." Once again, he spread out into a stance.

"Prepare yourself, boy! I will not take you lightly this time."

"Tch! You could barely take me on the last time! What makes this time so special?"

"Oh, you'll see soon enough." Genma tensed his leg muscles, preparing to rush at Ranma. A bead of sweat dropped onto the ground, and as soon as it hit, Genma was onto Ranma.

(Whoa! I never knew Pop could move that fast!) Ranma dodged awkwardly, being hit by a glancing blow to her shoulder. Wary, Ranma watched as Genma prepared another attack.

"**_Saotome Musabetsu Kakutō Ry_**_**ū****: Flying Phoenix Blazing Strike!"**_Genma leaped into the air, putting his hands together, bursting into 'fire' as he struck downwards.

Whoa!" Ranma leapt to the side, partially avoiding the attack, watching in fascination as the shockwave from the attack managed to cut both his legs a bit.

"Looks like ya still got a coupla tricks up your sleeve, Pops!" Ranma grinned. Finally! Some excitement! And it was under her nose all this time, too!

"Of course, boy! How could I have created a school if I only knew a couple techniques?"

Genma went into another stance "**_Saotome Musabetsu Kakutō Ry__ū: Ripping Talons of the Hawk!_**"

Genma leaped into the air once more, his hands spread apart, emulating talons.Once again, Ranma dodged, only to see the disastrous effects the attack had on the floorboards.

"Um… Dad? Are ya trying to destroy the dojo or something?" Ranma sweatdropped, forgetting to use the word 'Pop'.

"Of course not, boy! I'm just showing you that there are plenty of strong moves already in the school's arsenal. If you have these, then why would you need to use seduction techniques," Genma reasoned. Ranma sweatdropped, feeling uncomfortable with the subject.

"See, if you learn the rest of what I have to tea-ERK!" Genma was kicked out of the dojo, and into the koi pond.

Ranma walked out of the dojo, feeling proud of herself, as well as an old feeling she never thought she'd feel about her father again. Respect. Though she had a nagging feeling about something being missing.

(Nah, I must be just feeling guilty about kicking Pops...) Ranma walked out of the Tendo Dojo, heading towards his absolute favorite place to go think about the previous events.

Back in the dojo, a ceiling tile was moved out of place, and a shrunken old man leaped down.

(Hotcha! Ranma-chan's so beautiful, no wonder I can steal so much chi from her!) He let out a perverted giggle, before turning serious. (That potion Shampoo used must have been the weaker version. It seems that Ranma is able to forget all about Ryoga if she's not looking at him, nor does she remember anything about what had happened…)

He walked out of the dojo, wondering about what to do in this situation.

(Ranma is the ideal choice for an heir, being so talented as to escape the _Blazing Strike_ with only a couple cuts… but perhaps the test will have to wait. I'll have to see what Cologne-chan has to say about this potion.) Happosai jumped up onto the roof, heading towards the Neko-Hanten.

* * *

! Koi Pond ! 

"GROWF!"

Genma trudged out of the koi pond and into the house, thinking about how disrespectful the boy was.

(I only showed him a couple of flashy techniques to make her stare in awe, and then she punts me to the pond? Disrespectful boy!) Genma 'growf'ed angrily, turning on the TV.

"-Hokage!"

(Oh, it's that stupid ninja show they have. How did that boy become a ninja with such a flashy outfit?) Genma flipped the channel.

"rry Potter coming soon!" The screen shifted, showing a boy with a wand, making magic.

(Channeling ki through a stick? It's so much easier to just force it out of your body directly than through a silly stick!) Genma flipped the channel again.

"Bishoujo senshi, Sailor Moon!" (Posing before the enemy? The enemy can never be trusted to be honorable enough to wait for you to finish your pose! But that girl sure is cute… I wish Nodoka would let me in her bed again.) Genma's mind wandered off, before falling asleep in front of the TV.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo, Second Floor ! 

"I'm sure it's a potion, Akane-chan! Come on, don't frown like that. It doesn't match your face!"

"But nee-chan!"

"Akane, if it will make you feel any better, do you want to help me make dinner tonight?" Kasumi smiled, remembering the days when she burnt water as well.

"Okay!" Akane's face brightened up, and she wiped her tears.

Akane's door opened, and the two sisters came out, walking to the kitchen, passing Genma.

(Hmm, I wonder what Uncle Saotome is watching?)

"Oh my! I never knew Uncle Saotome liked shows such as these!" Kasumi gasped, in shock. A macho martial artist, watching Sailor Moon? Of course, she didn't know that Genma was asleep.

"Oh dear, Akane is waiting for me in the kitchen!" Kasumi hurried along to the kitchen, while Akane walked out, hearing Kasumi gasp out "Oh my!"

Akane looked at the TV screen, and looked at Genma.

"Why is… Oooh…" Akane trembled in rage. "Genma is a pervert too!" Akane pointed accusingly at Genma's slight nosebleed, and the show he was watching.

"Now now, Akane-chan. Let Uncle Saotome watch the show if he likes it. After all, he isn't harming anyone by doing that, is he?"

"I guess not…" Akane reluctantly let go of the issue, heading into the kitchen with Kasumi trailing her.

"Akane, will you be able to cook without me helping? I want to help give you pointers if you mess up."

Kasumi sighed, unable to change her decision. It had come on an impulse. Akane's face beamed with delight.

"Sure! Lets see… what to cook… ahh.. hmm…" Akane scratched her head. "Ooh! I've got it! I'll try to make udon!"

Kasumi sweatdropped.

"Akane-chan, udon takes quite a bit of preparation-"

"Nonsense! I'm sure I can make it in time for dinner!" Akane smiled, completely oblivious to Kasumi's slight look of fear.

"Lets see… aha! Here's the flour!" She grabbed the flour bag. "Hmm, I need a mixing bowl…"

Akane looked around. She opened a cabinet, grabbed the first bowl she saw, and placed it on the counter.

"Akane-chan… that's a cake pan." Kasumi sweatdropped again. Surely she wouldn't?

"Oh, I'm sure it'll work fine!" Akane grabbed the nearest flour bag, and tried to open it.

"Unnngh! Why you… stupid flour bag! Take this!" Akane used her monstrous strength, and tore open the bag.

! WOOSH !

The entire kitchen was covered in flour.

"Oops, haha! I guess I used a bit too much strength!" Akane laughed sheepishly. She picked up the cake pan, dropped down onto the floor, and began to scrape flour into the bowl.

"Hmm.. that should be enough!" Akane got up, heading towards the sink.

"Now for the water!" Kasumi watched incredulously as Akane put the bowl under the faucet, and turned it on at full blast.

"No, don't Akane-chan! The faucet is leaky!" Too late. Water splashed everywhere, including on the walls and floor.

"Oops. Oh well! I still got my flour wet!" Akane smiled cheerfully. After all, she had still finished her task.

"Now for to mix it…" Akane looked around. She pulled open a doughy drawer, and grabbed a chopstick. She stirred furiously, until the dough got thick enough to knead.

"Akane-chan… You can start knea-" She was interrupted by a loud

! CRACK !

"Akane-chan!" Kasumi gasped, eyeing the blue trimmed decoration on the broken piece of wood.

"That's one of the chopsticks from Ranma-kun's favorite pair! I imagine that he would be most displeased!"

"Oh. Well, I'll color another chopstick blue for him later, then." Akane threw away the top half of the offending piece of wood, before grabbing the dough, and placing it on the counter to knead.

"Akane-chan! You're supposed to place it in a bag so you can step on it with your feet!" Kasumi practically cried out in exasperation. At least, that was the traditional method of doing it.

"Oh. That's so disgusting! Fine, I'll try doing it your way." Akane placed the dough directly on the floor, before stepping onto it.

"Eugh, it feels so weird… forget this!" Akane quickly jumped off the dough, pulling out a mallet as she did so.

"This'll be easier!" Kasumi watched in horror, as Akane started whacking the dough with all her might.

! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM !

Kasumi sweatdropped, as Akane came to a stop.

"Akane-chan… it's only supposed to be about 35 cm in diameter…" Kasumi admonished, while looking at the approximately 45 cm wide circular piece of dough.

"Don't worry, nee-chan! It won't be so big soon!" Akane rolled the dough, before whamming it with her mallet a couple more times, to make it into a rectangular shape.

! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM ! WHAM !

"Okay! Lets see…" Akane rolled the dough again, before punching it a couple of times for good measure.

"Akane-chan, how did you know you were supposed to hit the dough a couple of times?"

Kasumi was impressed. Mind you, not terribly impressed, considering that Akane had skipped one of the most important steps; letting the dough sit around so that it regains its elasticity.

"Huh? I didn't… I just felt like punching it because I feel stupid with dough still stuck on my feet," Akane pointed out. "Oh well, whatever. What's next?"

Kasumi sighed, as she surveyed the kitchen. The walls were covered in dough, the bottom half of the chopstick was crushed into little wooden bits in the dough, and there was a giant dent in the middle of the floor. She wondered about the taste of the noodles when they were to be finished. Probably a woody, bland taste. The flour was supposed to be prepared with salt water, rather than normal tap water.

(Why me?) Kasumi asked no one in particular, as she realized she would be the one to do some damage control.

* * *

! Neko-Hanten ! 

"Cologne-chan!" Happosai bounced in through the back window.

"Happi?!?" Cologne was surprised. There weren't many times that Happi came to visit.

"Did you know that Ranma's under the infl-" he was cut off.

"Yes, I know. I'm sending Shampoo to get some ingredients for the counter potion."

"But don't you have-" Happosai was cut off again.

"I know, but Shampoo needs the exercise. Her endurance is nowhere near when she was still back at the Joketsuzoku."

"Ah, a training trip. Well, Ja ne! I've got silky darlings to liberate!" Happosai bounded up the staircase, to Shampoo's room, leaving Cologne blinking at his quick exit.

(Ah, braless, but her panties are just filled with chi!)

* * *

! Under A Bridge ! (Does this bridge have a name?) 

Ranma was tossing stones into the river. She hadn't paused to get any hot water. After all, thinking was best done in female form, right?

(What the hell happened back there? I headed to the dojo ta fight with Ryoga, and then Shampoo breaks the wall. Mousse follows, and Ukyo comes in. And then Konatsu follows, and then the Kunos had to come, too! Whats up with that?) Ranma tossed another stone, rather forcefully.

(And then I got whole fiancée mess… I'm never gonna get married… Akane hates me right now, and no way am I gonna to live as a slave in China! And then Ukyo… I thought she was my friend!) Ranma thought angrily.

(If Ukyo would bomb my wedding, then what will Akane do if I marry someone else? I bet she'll toss a whole swarm of mallets at me.) Ranma chuckled, finding a little humor in that.

! Sigh !

(I don't even _like_ Shampoo or Ucchan like that… Akane was the only one close enough. Maybe I should look outside the box… after all, there are plenty of girls out there.) Ranma ran over the problems with that one.

(No… I'm honor bound to marry all of them! Which just means I can't marry anybody. If I marry Akane, my honor will be broken, and no one would want to learn from an honorless sensei… If I marry Ukyo, I'll be spending the rest of my life making okonomiyaki, and not doing martial arts… And if I marry Shampoo, I'm a nobody. Just a tool for making strong heirs.)

Ranma looked at her bleak future. It was hopeless, she realized. She had hoped that everything would work out fine. She would marry Akane, and she would get over her anger, and trigger-happy finger. Ukyo and Shampoo would realize the deep love they shared, and would wish for the best. However, with honor, nothing was as simple as that.

(I'm the last of the Saotome, that can produce heirs, ain't I?) Ranma chuckled, a deep, agony filled chuckle.

* * *

At the top of the bridge, Sayuri was walking by, when she heard the chuckle. She walked over to the edge, and looked down, to see a sad looking Onna-Ranma. 

"Ranma? What are you doing down there?" She called.

Ranma looked up. "Oh, hi Sayuri. I'm just thinking… I come here ta think a lot." Ranma sighed.

"To think? About what?" Sayuri wondered. What kind of problems did Ranma have?

"Just problems. The usual kind. It gets sorta depressing, ya know?" Ranma sighed. "It's like I'm trapped under all these problems."

Sayuri checked the time, and decided that going home could wait a couple of minutes, and then she walked to the end of the bridge, and came down the incline to where Ranma was sitting.

"So, why are you in your girl form, anyways?" It was strange. Ranma's shirt wasn't wet at all, showing that she didn't change recently.

"I never got the chance to change, and besides, with all this water here, even if was in my male form, I would have changed within a minute."

"Oh." There was an awkward pause.

"So, you wanna tell me about your problems?" Sayuri didn't like the silence. After all, she had come down here to listen in on Ranma's problems.

"Oh, it's just the problems I've always had. Ya see, Pops and Mr. Tendo are always pushing me n' Akane together, but ever since the day that our marriage was bombed, she's been a little off her hook there. But now that I think about it, things weren't going as I expected." A frown found its way onto Ranma's face.

"I didn't know you expected this to go anywhere at all," Sayuri remarked.

"Well, I did. I was going ta be married ta Akane, and all my other fiancées would find other people to like… except then they had ta bomb my wedding. And now Akane's temper is even worse than before. I don't think Akane even likes me anymore." Ranma's eyes began to shimmer, a tears threatening to spill.

"So you love Akane very much?" Sayuri tried to get a solid answer from Ranma.

"Y-N-I don't know! At least I thought I knew…" A cricket chirped in a tree nearby.

"Akane talks to you about me, doesn't she? C-could you tell me what she's talking about me these days?" Ranma got a hold of her pigtail, and fiddled around with it. "I-if you're allowed to. I mean, Akane sometimes promises me to never say something to anyone."

"Um… well, Akane hasn't told us not to tell you, but I don't think I should tell you too much. Anyways, it _has_ been a while since she said anything good about you." Sayuri scratched her head. "Lately, all she's ever been doing is complain about you. To tell you the truth, about a quarter of the time, you really do seem guilty"

"Oh, and I'm at fault here? I haven't insulted her in days! The only times I've called her _kawaiikune_ in the past week are when she malleted me. And then she goes and calls me a jerk all the time." Silence ensued after the complaint.

"So… if you and Akane don't work out, who's next? Shampoo or Ukyo?"

"Neither. I don't wanna be a slave or an okonomiyaki cook, and ta tell you the truth, I don't like either of them _that_ way. I'll end up trying to fix the whole problem and marry some other sensible girl, who would obviously be a tad crazy… I mean, you have to be crazy to like someone like me." And back into the dumps we go. Sayuri checked her watch.

"Um, Ranma? I hope you don't mind that I have to go. I promised my mom that I would be home by 18:30, and it's 18:25 now." She stood up, and started walking away. "You know, I've always thought you were kind of a dumb jock, but I know better now. You are capable of thinking and showing your emotions, but you act dumb. Maybe others will look at you in a better light if you tried to act more civilized, and spoke correct Japanese."

"What dya mean? I _am_ civilized, and I _do_ speak good Japanese!" Came the protest. "See, that's what I mean. You're insisting that I'm wrong, and you're supposed to say 'you' instead of 'ya' , and when you said 'dya', you're supposed to say 'do you'," Sayuri admonished. "In any case, it's been a nice talk! You should be going home soon, too. You normally eat dinner at around this time, am I right?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks, I feel a lot better now." Ranma got up and stretched, wiping her eyes in the process.

"Hey Sayuri, you need a lift home?"

"No, I'm fine. My house is pretty close by. I guess I'll see you in school, then. Ja!" Ranma watched Sayuri jog off, before walking back to the Tendo Dojo.

(I never noticed her before, but she sure knows how to brighten up a person's day!) Ranma sighed. Hopefully, the rest of the day will be uneventful.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo, Kitchen ! 

"FINISHED!" Akane did a victory dance. "It looks soooo good! I'm sure everybody will like it!"

Kasumi stared at the bowls of Udon. Apparently, damage control didn't do much to curb Akane's horrendous cooking. The noodles were flat and limp, and all broken up into hundreds of pieces. Some were burnt, and others were undercooked. Kasumi guessed that they were all very salty; Akane had actually tasted it, and decided that it wasn't salty enough, and proceeded to dump the rest of the salt in the container into the noodles. The toppings were also ill prepared. A few pieces of leek were jutting through some meat.

"Akane, I thought I saw Ranma go out earlier. Can you go look for him?" All she needed was Akane to go out for a while and she could fix the udon to make it better.

"Sur-" Akane was interrupted by a call.

"Tadaima!" It was Ranma.

"O-kaeri nasai!" Kasumi called. Oh great, now how were these noodles going to be fixed?

"Hey, Kasumi, what's for dinner?" Came the enthusiastic call.

"Oh, just some udon noodles."

(Come on… come on… say you want some more food than just udon!) Kasumi practically begged Onna-Ranma as she came in through the door.

"Yeah, and I made it by myself! You'd better appreciate it, Ranma!" Akane waited. She was sure that Ranma would immediately start blubbering, trying to avoid the food.

"Umm… you did? It doesn't look that bad…"Ranma trailed off, as she took a closer look at the food.

(Is that… a piece of leek sticking through that chunk of meat? And the noodles are all floppy up close… And how did she manage to make udon in less than a day?)

Ranma was preparing to say something rude, when she remembered what Sayuri had said.

"Well… I do appreciate it, but I was hoping to eat something that Kasumi made today."

"Well, that's just perfect! Because Kasumi helped me make this!" Akane exclaimed triumphantly.

"Really? But I thought you said that you made it all yourself, unless you were lying earlier?" Ranma secretly snickered. It was so easy to rile Akane up.

"Argh! I don't lie, unlike you, you jerk!" Akane's face started turning red, partially out of anger, and partially from frustration.

"I lie? When have I ever lied?" Ranma asked, innocently.

"All the time! Whenever you come back from visiting those hussies, you always tell me something else!"

"You think Dr. Tofu is a hussy? Well, I might not know a lot about the human body like he does, but I know for sure that he's a guy, and not a girl. Besides, I only go to him for bandaging up those wounds you always give me." Ranma sweatdropped.

(Akane sure has a messed up mind… And I've never heard about the female in a 'relationship' being physically abusive.)

"Akane, you know Ranma wouldn't visit the other girls. I know that he is a very honorable young man and would never try to destroy anybody's honor." Kasumi tried to calm Akane down.

"I don't care!" Akane practically screamed.

* * *

! At the TV ! 

"Next time on-" Genma yawned, and stretched, the narrator waking him up. Suddenly, he heard a voice.

"All the time!"

"That boy… he got his iinazuke mad again, didn't he?" Genma got up, and headed to the kitchen to get a better grasp of the situation.

"The houses will never be joined! Waahhh!" Soun cried, near the shougi board, where he was sitting.

Genma found a spot to spy from, which happened to be the same niche Nabiki was at, listening in on the conversation, taking notes as she listened.

"Hey Panda! Give me 2,000 yen if you want to stay here." Nabiki gave Genma a sneer.

"Or else what? You'll tell Nodoka about something? Hah, she's already as mad as she can get! And if she decides to go with seppuku, she's honor bound to take Ranma's life along with mine, and she wants to avoid that as much as possible. Now stay quiet, I'm doing this for the good of us all." Genma told her, with a snort at her disrespect.

"I don't care!" was heard, Akane practically screaming at Kasumi.

Genma snuck over to Ranma, as Akane was busy arguing with Kasumi.

"Boy, take a bowl of Udon and eat it! It should calm her down, as long as she sees you eat it. Trust me, it shouldn't be too bad. I saw Kasumi help prevent major damage."

"Major damage? Major damage has already been done! Look at the kitchen more closely!" Ranma whispered back.

"I know, boy, but she usually makes a bigger mess than this!" Genma pointed to the walls, all still doughy, with pieces of vegetables and meat sticking to them. "Don't you see? It's missing its usual oil, bug spray, salt, detergent, and pieces of broken plates."

"Oh, fine, I'll do it. But only to make her calm down." Ranma walked over to a bowl, and picked it up.

(Okay, I have to be calm… I need to use the Soul of Ice on my tongue so I can't taste it… I know it's going to be bad…) With a gulp, she picked up a pair of chopsticks and called out to Akane.

"Fine! If it will make you feel better, then I'll eat your udon." And Ranma ate.

"No, wait Ranma-kun! Akane found the gymnast girl's bottle of knock-out powder and…" Kasumi trailed off, seeing that Ranma had already fainted on the ground, bowl still in hand.

* * *

Wow, long chapter this time. Yeah, I know. Whoohoo, Kasumi accidentally asks if Akane wants to cook, to make her feel better, and the end result is Ranma fainting. Now, just how did Kodatchi's knock-out powder happen to be in the kitchen? And does no one even remember poor Ryoga, still in the dojo? 

Anyways, here are the current voting results

Ryoga x ???:

Akari – 1

Akane – 0

Ranma – 1

Ranma x ???:

Akane – 0

Ryoga – 1

Other (Sayuri, Yuka, any other girl) : 1

More votes people! Once I've got this decided, we can get the show on the road!

Glossary

(These definitions are not necessarily accurate)

If you don't understand anything, check the previous chapter for the glossary there. Or use a translator, and maybe use that annoying "context clues" thing that your language arts teacher is screaming at you to use.

Hibaa-chan – Great-Grandmother

Nyūchezū – The Joketsuzoku, as it is known in Chinese.

Mana – You know, the source of magic. All magic is fueled by Mana.

Magic Mushrooms - Mushrooms that feed off of Mana. They often have varying effects.

Mr. Part-time – What Mousse is called by Cologne, because he's a duck half the time.

Saotome Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū – Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling, AKA: 'Anything Goes'

Bishoujo – Pretty

Senshi – Soldier

"What the hell? Time can go over 12:00?!?" – Yes, it can. In other countries, they go by the 24 hours each day. Which means 12:00 A.M. here would be 0:00 in other countries, eliminating the need for AM and PM after every time.

"Leek can get stuck inside of meat?" –Believe it or not, it can. I've done that before(It was an accident! I swear!), and it was a nice, firm piece of meat too. And by stuck, I mean going completely through.

Techniques

Saotome School:

Flying Phoenix Blazing Strike: The user of this attack puts their hands together, using hot, controlled ki to make flames appear on their hands. Hurts a lot if it is a direct hit, and if not, the difference in temperature from the user's hands and the contacted surface is drastic enough to cause a shockwave through the air, giving the victim some pretty deep cuts.

Ripping Talons of the Hawk: The user jumps into the air, and uses ki to form sharp 'talons' on their hands. Unlike the Neko-ken, (Cat fist), it is not long ranged, being only about 30 cm in length, though its cutting strength is still rather formidable.


	4. Chapter 4

It has been brought to my attention by the reviewer notBald that my plot's been going a little slow. So I'll try speeding it up. You all have to know that this is my first fic, so gimme a little room for mistakes. I'm not perfect; no one is. However, I can try to correct problems, but I can only do that if I know that there is a problem. And here's the disclaimer. (BTW, this story is a slight AU, if you haven't been able to tell.)

Disclaimer: If I owned Ranma ½, Ryoga wouldn't abuse his curse, and Genma would be a bit more honorable… Cuz he's like, a little one-sided, sorta being in the backround.

Ranma: Hey, I'm perfectly fine with him being in the backround! After all, the anime _is_ named after me!

Me: But he's still your dad. Without him, there wouldn't have been a training trip.

Akane: And without a training trip…

Ranma: Alright, alright, alright! Sheesh.

Genma: Show some respect to your elders, boy!

Ranma: After all that you've put me through? NEVER!

! Fight ensues !

Me: Oookaaay… Well, I don't own Ranma ½. (Or any characters from cameo appearances from other anime, or books, etc.)

"Oi!" – Spoken

( I wonder if Kasumi has any hot water right now…) – Thoughts or footnotes.

$ Great-grandmother, when will the potion be ready? $ – Foreign Language.

! At the Tendo Dojo ! – Onomatopoeia, or location/events happening.

# I wonder if that boy has been training? # Signs, by Panda-Genma.

I refer to Onna-Ranma as a she, her, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

Likewise, male ranma as he, him, etc. and so do other characters to prevent confusion.

* * *

Good Cause, Bad Effect

Chapter 3 Summary

Ranma and Ryoga, under the potions effects start making out in the gym, and everyone else leaves. Kasumi comes home, and finds them both on the dojo floor, and somehow knows that Akane is probably very angry at the scenario, so she goes to comfort her.

The potion's influence on Ryoga passes, and he faints. Genma walks in, and thinks that Ranma was practicing seduction techniques, and shows Ranma that he hasn't learned everything in terms of techniques for the Saotome Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū.

After Ranma ends the fight by kicking Genma into the koi pond, and leaves to go think about the events at the river. He has a talk with Sayuri, and then comes back home, and faints upon eating Akane's cooking.

* * *

Chapter 4

"A cure?!? Is it real?"

! In the Dojo !

Ryoga opened his eyes, and stared around, wondering where he was. He looked out the Dojo's window, and saw the moon up, before looking down, and seeing blood on the floor, as well as noticing a pail of water and a washcloth nearby. On an impulse from his good heart, he decided to help the occupants of the Dojo out by cleaning up the blood.

(Strange… how did I end up here?) Ryoga grunted as he started washing the blood. The blood had already dried, making the task harder than it was supposed to be.

(What was I doing before I blacked out?) Ryoga wondered, as he washed away the last of the blood. He wiped his brow, and rinsed the washcloth, before he found himself facing a mirror, and saw blood on his clothes. It was then, that it hit him.

"HOLY FREAKIN' !$#!$!" The cry echoed in the darkness of the Dojo, scaring off an owl in a nearby tree.

"No way… it can't be… it has to be Ranma's fault… he must have forced me to try to take advantage of him! But no… no one ever wants that to happen to themselves… and I refuse to believe Ranma is _that _sick!" Ryoga took a couple deep breaths.

"Okay… what do I always do when weird things like this happen?" He looked around for his pack, and spotted it sitting in the corner of the dojo. He walked over to the corner, but saw that his backpack wasn't there. He looked at another corner. There it was!

"Stupid teleporting pack… maybe I shouldn't have picked up any strange gemstones... one of them must be some kind of teleporting one," he muttered, as he headed towards the corner he thought the backpack was in.

"What the hell!" He span around, and ran towards another corner, and another, and another.

"Okay… stay calm, Ryoga… you can get it… it's probably a bunch of mirrors in here to confuse me…" He stuck his right hand on the wall. "If I just keep my right hand on the wall at all times, eventually I'll get to my pack…"

He walked along the wall, but noticed that for some reason, he wasn't getting any closer.

"Screw this!" Ryoga closed his eyes, and walked blindly forward. After a while, he finally bumped into a pack.

"YES! NOW I CAN FINALLY GET LOST!" He cheered, and then picked up the pack, rummaging around for his badly drawn map.

"Lets see… I should probably try to head for Egypt… Talking with that mummy was pretty fun. Besides, I promised I would come back eventually…" Ryoga made his way out of the Dojo, and proceeded to get lost. If anyone was looking closely at him, they would have noticed that after a while, the air around him distorted, before he simply vanished.

The textbooks called it the Dimensional Distortion Syndrome. Only about one in a quintillion managed to get this genetic disorder. Now, if this were a story about Ryoga, we would go further in that, but it's not.

! Morning, Tendo Dojo, Guest Room !

"You've gotten soft, boy!"

! SPLASH !

Genma prepared to jump out the window the instant Ranma did anything, but nothing happened. He waited, but still nothing happened.

"Oh !#$#. Nodoka will kill me for drowning our boy!" Genma jumped out of the window, landed near the koi pond, and pulled Ranma out, getting wet in the process.

"GROWF! GROWF! GROWF!" Panda-Genma was trying to shake Onna-Ranma awake, but was failing miserably.

"Oh my!" Kasumi said, as she handed a cup of coffee to the half awake Nabiki, who had just been woken up by the noise. Wearily, Nabiki grabbed the cup of coffee, before widening her eyes at the sight.

"Genma?!? Why are you molesting Ranma?" She dropped her cup out of shock, leaving Kasumi to catch it.

#I'm not, you crazy girl! I'm trying to shake him awake while simultaneously grabbing his chest!# Genma raised a sign, shaking it impatiently, dropping Ranma in favor of holding up the sign.

"But your paws don't need to be on his chest to wake him up, though." Nabiki stated.

#My paws are not on the boy's chest! See, I'm writing signs now!#

"Uncle Saotome, I do think you should find some other method to wake her up. It doesn't appear that shaking/molesting is the answer. I'll go heat some water; maybe that will help." Kasumi went into the kitchen.

Nabiki started on her breakfast, while Genma propped Ranma up on a chair and took to waiting by the Shougi table.

"! Yawn ! 'morning Nabs," Akane called, as she came down the stairs. Nabiki twitched at Akane's nickname. Then she saw Ranma on the chair.

"Ranma… was it worth it, having Ryoga all over you?" Akane growled, being inadvertently reminded of yesterday's events.

"Akane…" Nabikie tried to say, before being interrupted.

"Not now, Nabiki! Ranma, look at me when I talk to you!"

! Snore !

"RANMA NO BAKA!" Akane pulled out her mallet, out of annoyance and the need for something to hit, but was stopped by Genma.

"Uncle Saotome?" Akane gasped in shock. No one had ever intervened when she was going to hit Ranma before.

#Akane… Don't hit your fiancé, especially when it was your cooking that knocked him out yesterday, and the very same cooking that still has him unconscious even now.# Genma hastily scribbled.

"But…"

#Akane, you are the one who put the knock-out powder in the food. I admit that your food may not be the best, but adding dangerous ingredients is a good way to make your food toxic, or even deadly. What if you had added rat poison, or drain degreaser into your food?#

Akane sweatdropped, as she struggled to read the sign.

"Umm… err… Ranma would survive?" She hesitated, with a sheepish look on her face.

#And how would you- nevermind,# Genma sighed.

(Thank the gods that I've trained Ranma's resistance to poisons,) Genma thought.

#Maybe Ranma would have survived, but what about anyone else?#

"Umm.. hehe… I dunno?" Akane backed away, laughing nervously. "Um… I'm going to go jogging now, soo… bye!" Akane ran nervously outside, still in her pajamas.

"Wow, she's going to give a lot of boys nosebleeds if she actually goes through with her jog," Nabiki commented, as she finished the last of her breakfast. "Well, I'm going now. Associates to meet, deals to make, debts to collect. Ja ne!"

Nabiki left, just as Soun came down the stairs, sighing wistfully.

(I wish _she_ were still alive…)

The whistle of the kettle penetrated the relative silence, and Kasumi appeared from the kitchen a second later.

"Uncle Saotome, the hot water's ready. Shall I pour some on Ranma?"

"Growf", he said, as he held up a sign. #Go ahead, Kasumi.#

Kasumi went ahead, and poured the boiling water over Ranma.

"OWOWOWHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!"

! CRASH !

"Itai!" Ranma rubbed his head, where he had both a bump and a burn.

"Boy, you know better than to struggle and push backwards when you're in a chair. I know I trained you better than that," Genma said, after he splashed himself with some hot water.

"Wow, I had the strangest dream… I dreamed that I flew into the koi pond and I couldn't move, so I almost drowned, but then _Pop_ dragged me out and actually prevented Akane from hitting me with her mallet!"

"So you were too shocked to know that you were in a chair?" Kasumi asked.

"Y-yeah, that's it!" Ranma stuttered, afraid that his father would admonish him again.

(God, he's always yelling about this, and that these days,) Ranma thought.

"Well Ranma, here's your breakfast. If you eat it fast enough, I think you still have enough time to train and use the furo," Kasumi said, as she placed both the Saotomes' and her father's breakfast on the table.

"No prob!" Was heard, as Ranma started gobbling up his food.

"So, Tendo, shall we play some shougi after breakfast?"

"Yes my friend, we shall play, and I shall win again!" Soun cried, thankful for the distraction.

Ranma finished, and went into the dojo to train.

* * *

! 30 minutes later, Tendo Dojo ! 

"Whew! Those techniques dad showed me yesterday sure are hard to copy!" Ranma sat down in a corner, to rest.  
"Hmm, Ryoga must have gotten lost or something again…" Ranma mused. "Ah well, I have to cut my training short today anyways, guess I'll use the furo now."

Ranma wiped his brow, and headed for the furo.

* * *

!Tendo Dojo Entrance Gate ! 

"Argh, all those perverts! Just because I didn't wear a bra doesn't mean they can all stare and get nosebleeds!" Akane huffed, as she went inside the dojo to use the furo.

Ranma heard the footsteps, and judging from the sound, knew that it was Akane.

(Only Akane's footsteps sound like an elephants!) he thought, before realizing that Akane would kill him just for being in the furo. He quickly splashed himself with cold water, causing the transformation to occur, thinking that maybe Akane wouldn't mind if she was already a girl, before going back to scrubbing.

A door was heard being opened, as well as the sounds of clothes being taken off.

(Waitasecond… I can just tell Akane I'm in here!) Ranma smacked herself once. (I'm such a genius! Why didn't I think of that before?)

On the other side of the door, Akane heard Ranma call.

"Akane, don't come in here! I'm using the furo right now."

(Why… that pervert! I bet he's just rubbing herself up right now! There's no other reason for being a girl and being in the furo at the same time!) Akane fumed, as she opened the door anyways.

"Akane? Didn't I tell you to not come in here?" Ranma asked, sweatdropping at Akane's inability to follow commands.

"Ranma, you pervert!" Akane screamed.

"Huh?" Ranma gave Akane a look of confusion. "Well… since you're here and stuff, why don't you scrub my back, then?

"Ranma… you're sick, you know that?" Akane was close to breaking.

"Sick?" Ranma placed a hand to her forehead. "Well.. I don't have a fever or anything… how am I sick?"

Apparently, that response annoyed Akane greatly.

"RANMA N-" Akane prepared to take out her mallet.

"Wait! Wait!" Ranma made warding gestures. "At least let me rinse off and get my clothes before punting me away!"

Ranma desperately wished that Akane would just stay still for a few moments, and inadvertently released a wave of ki as she did so. Akane's motion slowed to a stop. Seeing that Akane was no longer moving, she decided to use this opportunity to rinse off the soap, and quickly cloth herself.

"O baka?!?" Akane unfroze, staring at Ranma in wonder.

"Huh? Why are you staring at me?"

"Ranma… I didn't stop myself, but my body just froze… I know you probably did it, but I'm wondering _how_ you did it."

"I… did that? No way! I… don't know… but I'mheadingforschoolnow,bye!" Ranma quickly ran out of the furo, saying a quick goodbye to Kasumi and Genma, before hopping onto the fence and running to school, afraid that Akane would come out running at any moment with her mallet in hand.

Nearing the school, Ranma risked a look backwards, before crashing headlong into Kuno.

"Oh, it is the pig-tailed girl! Your love for me has won over the evil sorcerer's spell, and you have come to declare your love!" Kuno exclaimed.

Ranma made a face, before thinking up of a plan.

"Why Kuno! No, I am not here to declare my love. In fact, I am here to declare my hatred of men who are ugly, such as you!

"What? Surely my ears doth deceive me? I have always spent hours a day, making myself as presentable as possible! Such lies, surely it is the doing of the sorcerer's spell!" Kuno reasoned.

"Oh Kuno, I have been freed from the spell, and I hate ugly noblemen, but I hate samurai even more!" Ranma stalked off, thinking that there's no way Kuno could compete with that.

"What? Freed from the spell? Truly? So that is why you hate me? Then I must become a common peasant to win your heart! That I shall do!" Kuno ran off, laughing crazily.

From a classroom's window, Nabiki was staring at the scene, horrified.

"Kuno's going to go rōnin?!? No! My source of money!" Nabiki despaired, before running out of the classroom, intent on trying to change his mind.

* * *

! History Class ! 

"Saotome-san! You're… early?!?" Mr. Takishi looked up from his desk, switching views from Ranma and the clock.

"Umm… yes, sensei. Should I come late tomorrow then?" Ranma wondered what the problem was. She was early, and that's supposed to be a good thing, right?

"No, no, please, sit down and try to come early every day!" Mr. Takishi beckoned to Ranma to sit down, just as the bell rang. Then, Akane came in.

"Tendo-san! You're late! Buckets!"

Akane groaned, as she picked up the buckets, and sent an inquiring glance at Ranma.

"Buckets, Tendo-san!" Mr. Takishi reminded Akane, before she went outside into the hall.

"Now, Saotome-san, since you're on track for changes, why don't you try listening instead of sleeping for the class period?"

"Um… I'll try, sensei." Ranma nodded her head, knowing that she would probably fall asleep anyways.

* * *

! Lunch Period ! 

"God, why does everyone I know seem so intent on avoiding me?" Ranma plopped down under his usual tree. He had gotten some hot water earlier in the bathroom, and was due for another change anytime now.

"Hey Ranma, how were you early to school today? Weren't you going to visit one of those hussies before school? After all, I wasn't watching you." Akane's voice came from behind the tree.

"Aaah! Akane! Fancy meeting you here! Heheh," Ranma jumped up in shock, before laughing sheepishly.

(I thought she didn't like me… and now she acts all jealous?)

"Just answer the question, Ranma." Akane began to lose her patience.

(Geez, she's so impatient about everything! I'd hate to know what she would do if she ever had kids, cuz that takes sooo much patience!)

"I just came directly to school. Why would I ever go visit any of them, anyways?"

Akane snorted, obviously not believing Ranma.

"Whatever, Ranma." Akane walked over to her friends, Yuka and Sayuri. Sayuri gave Ranma a questioning look, before saying something to Yuka. She then picked up her lunch, and walked over to Ranma.

"Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you doing with Ryoga in the dojo yesterday?" Sayuri tried to get the real story from Ranma.

"Well, Ryoga got all mad at me, and wanted to fight. I lured him to the Dojo so that he wouldn't destroy the house, but then the chaos started. Everyone just started comin' over. It started with Shampoo, and Mousse was following her. Ukyo was following Shampoo, and Konatsu was following Ukyo. And then, even Kuno and Kodatchi came in, and they were doing all this fighting, and Kodatchi used some powder in the air, before Shampoo stuffed some ramen down my throat. I just blacked out, ya know? The next thing I remember was Pop yelling something… I don't remember." Ranma admitted.

"Blacked out? You?"

"Yeah… and then Pop just started sparring with me, but he came with new tricks, too. He said they were already in the school, just that I never could learn them, because they required ki to use."

Sayuri stared at Ranma's face, and could see that Ranma wasn't lying. After all, with that incident with the Gambling King, Ranma had needed a mask to hide his face, which meant that he was incapable of lying, without showing it.

(Of course, Akane told me that, but Akane would never lie to us!)

"Akane told us that there was powder all over the place, and she saw you and Ryoga kissing, with him over you." Sayuri looked to see Ranma's expression.

! COUGH ! HACK !

"W-what?!?" Ranma managed to stutter out, before choking again, out of disbelief.

"It must have been the ramen," Sayuri supplied.

"Oh yeah… it must have been a love potion in disguise, but I was in my girl form then… which means I can't be attracted to Shampoo, and Ryoga was probably in viewing range…" Ranma pieced together the situation, although he still couldn't remember what had happened after eating the ramen.

"Oh shoot! I have to apologize to Akane!" Ranma's eyes widened, as he realized that Akane saw him together with Ryoga. "She'll just get madder if I don't!"

"No Ranma, don't. Akane's not dense. It seemed like she knew that it was a potion. If you go apologize, she won't take it, because it'll look like I told you to say sorry." Sayuri quickly said, to prevent him from going over.

"Oh…" Ranma calmed down. "So that's why everyone's been avoiding me today."

"Yeah, I guess everyone you knew saw you in the Dojo. But don't worry, I won't avoid you, especially since I know the truth." Sayuri smiled at Ranma.

"I thought everyone was avoiding me because I was sick. I mean, earlier this morning, Akane told me that I was sick, but I don't have a fever."

"Oh Ranma, you're so naïve," Sayuri said, preparing to explain why. But right after she said that, the bell rang.

"Naïve? I'd hate to think so, but I suppose I am. After all, I was on the road with Pops for over ten years."

"Ranma, what did I tell you yesterday about using correct Japanese?" Sayuri admonished, while keeping track of the time.

"I um… should try better to use correct Japanese?" Ranma scratched his head sheepishly.

"Yes, that means using 'Father' instead of 'Pop' like you do. It's not that hard; I'm already hearing you improve." Sayuri smiled, before waving, and leaving. Ranma was left, staring.

(Wow, she's pretty… Augh! What am I thinking! Anyone who gets caught up in my life starts having problems, and ends up getting hurt!) Ranma shook his head, as he headed into the school.

* * *

! Remote Forest ! 

"Whew! Shampoo know Shampoo shouldn't have used Endurance herb! Now Shampoo's energy is out!" Shampoo set her pack down, and sat down next to a tree to rest.

"Shampoo my love, that just means you didn't have the energy to run all the way here and back in the first place. Of course, you're still the strongest person I know!" Mousse supplied, trying to up Shampoo's spirits.

"Shampoo know, you silly duck. Hurry up and go find mushrooms! They green, covered with stiff stuff, and tall."

"Shampoo… aren't you sitting against one of those so-called mushrooms?" Mousse pointed at the "tree" Shampoo was sitting under.

"Silly Mousse, put glasses…..on?" Shampoo looked at the 'tree'."

"Aiyah! That mushroom too too big! Find smaller one!" Shampoo gasped, surprised at the size of the mushroom.

They both scrambled around, Shampoo somehow finding energy to use.

"Aiyah, all mushroom too too big! Can Mousse put mushroom in sleeves with Hidden Weapons?"

"I'm not sure, but I can try!" Mousse sweatdropped, as he wondered how that thing would fit in his sleeves.

* * *

! A couple of hours later ! 

Ryoga was walking through the forests of some place, when he heard a conversation.

"Finally got it to fit!"

"Aiyah, Mousse had to take off robes too!"

"It took all of our energy, too!"

"Aiyah! It so big, leaking white, so much white!" (1)

Ryoga headed towards the noise, and looked at the scene.

Mousse's robes were dirty, and Shampoo's clothes were ruffled, and not on correctly.

"Felt so good after it was done too!" Mousse exclaimed, feeling proud of himself.

"Too too true! So hard to do, but worth it after done!" Shampoo shared the same look as Mousse.

Ryoga, not understanding the circumstances, fainted with a nosebleed.

"What was that?" Mousse asked Shampoo.

"Shampoo not know, probably wild animal." Shampoo suggested. "Lets go now! Airen is waiting!"

They both ran off, at a slower pace than before.

* * *

! Furinkan High School ! 

"Yatta! School's out!" Was heard, as students rushed out of the building.

A shadow flew overhead, and gradually got smaller as Ranma landed outside. He looked behind him, and started running off as quickly as he could. After all, who knows what Akane was thinking right now; probably not something pretty. Maybe Akane used to hit him around out of annoyance, but you could still sense her feelings in those hits. Not recently, even though she acts all jealous, as normal.

"Nothin' strange happening today! Nope, no siree!" Ranma reassured himself. "It's just gonna be a normal day. Not even the curse has acted up today!"

! Splash !

"Mina-chan, don't dump water out the window like that!" Came an admonishing voice.

"Hai, gomen Hiko-chan!" The window closed.

"Wow, just great. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to mess around with whats-his-name's law… Murdley or something,(2)" Ranma grumbled.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo ! 

"Tadaima!" Ranma called.

"O-kaeri, dear," Nodoka's voice floated out.

Ranma walked in, and saw the strangest thing. Genma, was sitting next to Nodoka, with their hands held by each other.  
"Mom- I mean Mother? You've decided to forgive P-Father?"

"Yes dear. I know that he has put you through many hard ordeals, however he did make you into what you are now. There's no mistaking that all that hard training did pay off, although you were quite lacking in the manners part of being a Man-amongst-men." Nodoka gently took a sip from her cup of tea.

"Excellent tea, Kasumi. Why, it seems almost as if it gets better every time I drink it!"

"Arigato, Auntie." Kasumi held her platter of tea next to Ranma. "Ranma, would you like a cup of tea?"

"Ah, sure, why not?"

"Manners, dear. I know you have been trying; I can hear improvements in your speech. However, your manners need much working on. A man-amongst-men must be courageous, courteous, and be honorable."

"I try, Mother." Ranma shifted, preparing to ask another question. "I need to go visit the O- Elder Cologne to ask her a question. You can lecture me more later."

"I know you do, dear. And you wish to go out dressed like that?" Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "It's just not proper!"

"Huh?" Ranma looked down. "What's wrong with how I dress?"

"You don't have the proper undergarments on, dear."

"What dy- do you mean? I'm wearing boxers. That's good enough, isn't it?" Ranma wondered at what her mother meant. Nodoka sighed.

"You need to be wearing panties and a bra dear, when you go out as a girl."

"WHAT?!? I don't need any of those! I'm a guy!" Ranma twitched, at the implication that she needed to wear girl undergarments.

"Kasumi, do you have any hot water?"

"Oh my! I'm sorry Ranma, our hot water tank broke earlier this afternoon. We're getting it fixed tomorrow," Kasumi's reply came, apologetically.

"No-chan, that's outrageous! Our boy is a boy!" Genma took Ranma's side.

"Hush, dear. You do have the same problem as every other girl during that time of month, don't you?"

"…" Ranma's face turned beet red.

"Do you?"

"I… do," Ranma managed to squeak out.

"Then you are a girl when you're in girl form." Nodoka concluded.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with wearing girls' underwear?"

"Girls wear bras and panties for a reason, child. Mostly for comfort, but having a bra is important. It prevents your breasts from moving when you move around, generally lessening the pain. Panties are for holding pads, so that you don't bleed all over your pants and show the entire world that it's your time of the month."

Ranma turned even redder.

"But people will think I'm a pervert for wearing them!"

"Nonsense! Go and get dressed. I trust that you own at least one pair?" Nodoka shooed Ranma up the stairs. Ranma discreetly nodded, and ran up the stairs, face crimson red.

"No-chan, does he really have to?" Genma asked.

"Yes, Gen-chan. You of all people should know that our child is both our son and daughter. You know, if Nabiki hadn't told me to go to a psychiatrist, I'd still believe that Ranma is only a man, as the term 'Man-amongst-men' technically refers to the person being a man."

* * *

! Nerima Border ! 

Shampoo was on Mousse's shoulder, in cat form, as he ran into Nerima.

"Almost there, my love!" Mousse exclaimed. In doing so, he wasn't watching where he was going, and slammed face-first into a building.

"MEOW!" Shampoo, annoyed at Mousse's clumsiness, went to find some hot water to walk herself.

"N-no… Don't leave me, Shampoo!" Mousse tried to find her, and saw a flash of purple.

"SHAMPOO!!!"

! Glomp !

"Oi, Hiko. I think that boy's molesting your car." A chubby police officer pointed at his partner's car.

"!#!$&! NO ONE MOLESTS MY CAR! NOBODY!" She got up, and promptly tripped. "Itai!"

"Huh? This isn't Shampoo!" Mousse dropped the car, and turned around. "Shampoo? Shampooo! Where are you?"

* * *

! Tendo Dojo ! 

"Mom! I feel so silly!" Ranma came down the stairs, fidgeting.

"Nonsense, dear. Now off you go. Be sure to send the Elder my greetings!" Nodoka shooed Ranma off towards the door.

"Alright, I'll do that. Ja ne!" With that, Ranma made her exit.

Nodoka continued sipping her tea.

"Maybe I should have made Ranma get in a skirt while I was at it?" Nodoka mused to herself.

"No-chan! Our boy won't be the man I made him into if you play dress-up with him!" Genma whined. As if on cue, Happosai appeared.

"Did someone say Ranma's in a bra?" A lecherous grin made its way onto the wrinkled face. "Hehehehe! Ranma's in a bra! Ranma's in a bra!"

"M-m-master! Is there anything I can do for you?" Genma quickly acknowledged Happosai's superiority over him. Nodoka shot him a look, silencing him.

"No, of course not! Except maybe get Ranma in this!" Happosai pulled out a lacy bra, and held it out to Genma.

"Why, an extra bra for Ranma! I'll be sure to give it to her once she comes home!" Nodoka snatched the bra from Happosai's hands, and went to wash it thoroughly.

"Heehee! I'm off to stalk Ranma now! Haha, Ranma's in a bra!" Happosai bounced off, humming happily.

* * *

! Neko Hanten ! 

"Hey, Old Ghoul? Are you in?" Ranma stuck her head in, and looked around the café, watching for Shampoo.

! CONK !

"OW! What was that for, ya old ghoul?" Ranma stared at the tiny elder. "Oh, and by the way, Mother sends her greetings to you."

"Hmm…" Cologne observed Ranma. "Son-in-law, you don't seem to be in your normal frame of mind today.

"Well, what do you think?!? I found out earlier today that my second kiss was with Ryoga! And I was under the influence of another of your potions!" Ranma fumed. Here was the Old Ghoul, the maker of the potion, and she was acting all innocent here!

"My potions? No, of course not. It was one of Shampoo's hastily made potions. All I ever did was give her a book of potions, back when we were in the Joketsuzoku, and pointed her in the right direction so as to make her potions non-lethal while we were here." Cologne stared closer at Ranma. "Son-in-law, are you wearing a bra?"

"I…well…Mother forced me to. She said I had to if I was going out as a girl, because our water heater was broken." Ranma blushed, a deep red, out of embarrassment. "Anyways, could you make an antidote to the potion? Or has the potion already faded away?"

"I have sent Shampoo to collect an ingredient for the antidote, though I am curious about how Nodoka actually got you in one of those." Cologne pointed to Ranma's chest.

"I… well… I don't want to disappoint Mother, and at first, when I refused, she looked so sad. It's like all mothers have the ability to guilt trip their children." Ranma explained. "So I had to go up, and wear this one, which I had used for a disguise earlier on."

"Oh? And how does it feel?" Cologne cackled, obviously enjoying herself with Ranma's embarrassing predicament.

"To tell you the truth, it's a lot more comfortable with it on than with it off," she admitted.

"Hey, Old Mummy! We're back and we've got the mushroom too!" Mousse's voice rang through the air. He had found Shampoo, and picked her up before she found hot water.

"Already?" Cologne cackled again. "You two must have run yourselves into the ground, eh?"

Cologne pogoed outside, to where Mousse was.

"Alright Mr. Part-time, lets see what you brought." Cologne stood back, as Ranma came out to see.

"Meow!" Shampoo's cat form made itself known.

"AAHHH! C-C-C-C-CAAAAAATT!!!" Ranma ran behind Cologne, and hopped up onto the roof.

"Shampoo, go get some hot water. You don't want Son-in-law to go neko now, do you?" Cologne cackled. It was always fun to see a brave warrior freak out about a tiny little thing.

(Why, Deodorant once freaked out about an ant! A puny little ant!)

Mousse took off his robe, and began pulling the mushroom out. Cologne's eyes widened.

"Children, you actually brought the _entire_ mushroom with you?!?"

"Well, we didn't see any small mushrooms around, so we just cut one of them down. Say, Ranma, are you wearing a-" He was cut off.

"Nono, ofcoursenot! See?!? I'monlywearingmysilkshirtandmypants!" Ranma's eyes bugged out, as she desperately tried to convince Mousse otherwise.

"Right… well, come help me with this mushroom, won't you?" He gestured to the stem of the mushroom, already halfway out of his robe.

"Sure, no problem." She went and got a hold of the end of the mushroom. "Eugh, whats this white stuff?"

"That, Son-in-law, is the sap of the Mana Shroom, and is actually a concentrated form of Mana, although it can be mistaken for something else." Cologne cackled again, like some deranged witch. Seriously, Cologne is always cackling.

"Aiyah, it seem so so big now!" Shampoo exclaimed, as she watched Ranma pull the mushroom out.

"Airen! We fix you back soon!" She headed over for a glomp. Ranma evaded.

"Not now, Shampoo! Hang on!" Ranma pulled the last of the mushroom out, before settling it on the ground.

"Children, you only needed about a cup of the white fluid for the potion. Ah well, I suppose we could always use some more decoration in our lot." Cologne pogoed over, and magically produced a cup, and started collecting fluid.

"I guess I'll just have to sit around until the potion's done?" Ranma asked, before going inside and sitting at a stool.

Cologne, having finished collecting the fluid, told Shampoo and Mousse to handle the evening rush.

"I'll fix the potion. Give me about an hour, and I'll be done." She pogoed over to the back room.

"Airen! You want some too too good ramen?" Shampoo bubbled, as she began making ramen.

"I-I'm okay. I've had enough of ramen these days." Ranma secretly made a face, unable to trust Shampoo. Mousse stared at Ranma, strangely, before seeing the slight bumps signaling the presence of undergarments under Ranma's trademark silk shirt. He decided to save the teasing for later, as he concentrated on making ramen.

* * *

! 1 hour later ! 

"Son-in-law, it's finished!" Cologne pogoed out, a beaker held in hand. "Son-in-law?"

Cologne jumped off her staff, and poked Ranma a couple of times, who had dozed off.

"Huhwhat?" Ranma's eyes snapped open, as she stared into the face of the wizened elder.

"Your antidote is ready." Cologne held up a beaker, containing a fizzling, neon blue liquid.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Ranma looked warily at the potion, which seemed to be glowing.

! THWACK !

"Are you insulting my potion making skills? I'll tell you what; I'm the second best alchemist in the entire Joketsuzoku! The only one better than me was Shaving Cream, who was the village genius girl, although she's grown up now." Cologne handed the beaker over to Ranma. "Here, take it. You wanted it, after all."

Ranma took the beaker, and stared at it, before taking a big swig.

"Ugh! This tastes like that 5-year old cabbage I ate on the training trip!" Ranma exclaimed, disgusted, while wiping her lips. A strange sensation, not unlike the transformation, was felt by Ranma.

"5-year old cabbage?" Cologne inquired.

"Well, it was badly preserved," she explained, as if that said everything. "Well, thanks ya Old Ghoul. I gotta go home now, or else Akane will hit me for being out with a 'hussy'."

"Good day, Son-in-law, good day."

Cologne watched as Ranma left.

"Bai-bai, Airen!" Shampoo bounced out the door, offering her goodbye before coming back in.

"Happi, you can come out now," she called, sensing his presence.

"Cologne-chan? How did you know it was me?" Happosai jumped down from the ceiling.

"All of the Joketsuzoku Amazons from that time period have memorized your ki signature. Myself included."

"I see. Do you still hold a grudge about the artifacts?"

"Not so much anymore. Most of them were useless, except for the Nanban mirror." Cologne placed her staff by the counter.

"I'm planning on giving Ranma a test for the Mastery of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū. I have high expectations that he will pass. However, I am wondering whether or not I should give him this cure I found first, or after he passes." Happosai bounced onto a stool. "It is said that it can cure any curse, no matter how strong."

"I think you should make it into the first test. If he does not work at his full potential after the cure, then he is not worthy of being the Master."

"That's true. Ja!" Happosai took a deep breath off of his pipe, and left the Neko-hanten.

* * *

! Tendo Dojo ! 

"RANMA NO HENTAI!" was heard, as Akane discovered Ranma wearing a bra.

"Akane, it's not nice to hit your fiancé, especially since he was told by Nodoka to wear it." Kasumi admonished, as Akane was somehow held in place again by the stunned looking Onna-Ranma, hands once again in warding motions.

Other than that, dinner passed by eventless. Genma had stopped the food fights; most likely because he didn't want to upset Nodoka. Happosai had appeared halfway through dinner, bouncing up the stairs to put away his collection. After dinner, Happosai had put Ranma to the test.

"Ranma, my dear boy! I have given this great thought; and I have deemed you worthy of-"

"Worthy? Of what? Stealing undergarments for your collection? No thanks!" Ranma rudely interrupted him.

"Ranma, I am being serious here. I have deemed you to be worthy for the title of being the Master of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū. In order to actually name you the Master, you must pass my tests." Happosai brought out his pipe, and lit it.

"Hah, I probably have to steal panties for you!" Ranma exclaimed, being unable to believe that Happosai was actually being serious.

"No, Ranma. Once you finish these tests, you will be given this cure I found during one of my recent panty raids." Happosai dug in his bag, tossing aside a piece of paper without reading it, and produced a vial, filled with a translucent green liquid. Almost instantly, Ranma's eyes were glued onto it.

"A-are you serious?!? I'd do anything to get that!"

"Would you, boy?" Happosai took a long drag from his pipe. "Tell you what; you can have it now, if you promise on your honor to take my tests seriously."

"Yes! I will!" Ranma cleared her throat. "I, Saotome Ranma, heir of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū, solemnly swear to take the Master, Happosai's tests seriously, and to the best of my abilities."

"I, Happosai, master of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū, solemnly swear to lay off my usual trickery, and deceit, and to test my heir, Saotome Ranma, to the best of my abilities."

"Amen." Genma said.

"Then, here you go." Happosai produced a kettle of hot water, and the cure over to Ranma. Everybody watched with anticipation as she poured the water over herself, probably the last time to ever transform, and opened the vial.

"Here goes nuthin'!" With one giant swig, he drank the liquid.

While everyone was too busy watching, no one noticed the warnings on the sheet of instructions for the cure, which was tossed away hastily in the search for the cure, near Happosai's bag, stating :

"User Beware: If you can shift between a cursed form and your normal form, be sure to use the potion while in your cursed form. If used improperly, this potion may result in the complete obliteration of the uncursed form."

* * *

To Be Continued

Hm! The test has begun! And Happosai was trying to be nice? Sincere? Is that possible?!?

Unfortunately, he didn't read the directions to the cure long enough... Hah, Ranma gets locked again!

Don't come flaming me yet; you have no idea what I have in store for this story, and that's all I'm going to say.

Anyways, here are the current voting results

Ryoga x ???:

Akari – 1

Akane – 0

Ranma – 1

Ranma x ???:

Akane – 0

Ryoga – 1

Other (Sayuri, Yuka, any other girl) : 1

Glossary

(Definitions are not necessarily accurate)

! Sweatdrops ! I don't think there was anything to define...

Don't be discouraged by the current turn of events; Ranma can still be paired with people. I think I'm giving away too much here...

Footnotes

1. In reference to the white juice that came out of the mushroom's stalk, after rough handling had broken the "bark" of the mushroom.

2. Murphy's law. If anything can go wrong, it _will _go wrong


End file.
